Yes, Britain’s Got Talent… but not this unfunny duo!

Our man Frank is bemused by what’s passing for news in England; It’s a big NO from the Creggs jury to the BGT winner; Concerns over intercounty football… and Peter O’Mahony’s gardening flair

It’s a roasting hot Bank Holiday Monday as I write these words, and – not for the first time – I am wondering if our near-neighbours (the English) have completely lost the run of themselves!

In recent years, we had the unexpected Brexit result, followed by the election of the British answer to Donald Trump (I almost wrote Donald Duck), Boris Johnson, as Prime Minister. Those decisions have had nearly catastrophic results for the British economy.

Fast-forward to early this morning (well, early for a Bank Holiday), when I tuned into Sky News, confident that I would get the usual interesting stories from around the world. The first big item was about the almost completely irrelevant Royal, Prince Harry, and speculation as to whether or not he would appear at the High Court as a witness in the libel case he is taking against the Mirror Newspaper Group. We went over and back several times, but sadly were none the wiser by the time the programme finished.

As it happens, he didn’t show (he did on Tuesday). But my question is: did anyone really care?

Anyway, when that item was more or less dealt with, it was time for the next instalment of the never-ending saga that is the Holly and Phil show. This time, the question was whether Holly, upon her return to the This Morning show after all the recent upheaval (you must know by now what went on), would mention her old friend by name. I have no idea whether she did or not, but after more than three weeks of this surely it’s time to let that story fall off the news headlines and let us concentrate on some of the really important issues?

Funnily enough, none of those things about the Brits would have entered my head at all if I hadn’t seen last night’s final of Britain’s Got Talent. How two of the acts (including the winner, Norwegian comedian Viggo Venn) made it through to the final beats me.

It was freely acknowledged that the standard of contestants, including young Meath magician, Cillian O’Connor (can he work his magic for the Mayo footballer of the same name and get Sam for Mayo?) was at an all-time high. So to crown the Norwegian funnyman as the winner was just so ridiculous.

To his credit, he looked funny, but his act (as far as I could see) consisted of running around the stage in a high-vis vest and doing little or nothing else. How he managed to secure the votes of the British public to earn £250,000 for himself and get to perform at the Royal Variety Concert for the new King is a mystery to me.

However, if his victory was a farce, the presence of a different so-called comedian, Tonikaku, in the final was an absolute insult to all the fine artists that didn’t make it through.

His act involved pretending to be naked and letting a few roars out of himself while cavorting around the stage (although always wearing jocks). Despite Simon Cowell telling us he was the funniest comedian he had ever seen, I would almost prefer to watch another boring intercounty championship football match – and that is saying something.

Maybe I’ve got it all wrong, but some of the other acts – including our Meath magician, a couple of singers, and one-legged dancer Musa Motha – were absolutely top class, and any one of them would have been a much more worthy winner than Viggo Venn. As for Tonikaku, he definitely proves that if a fellow has a thick neck (and, in his case, a big belly) he can go far –but in my opinion nowhere near far enough.

I won’t be looking out to see where he is performing next anyways…that is if he ever performs anywhere again.

Action required on ‘boring football’

Everyone has an opinion on the present state of Gaelic football, and in the case of future Barstool Boyos contributor Joe Brolly, he wants four new rules to be implemented.

First, that kick-outs must go past the 45 (our Junior B ‘keeper Gerry Keegan reckons that could be the end of his career as a goalie). Secondly, that the goalie cannot get a pass from an outfield player. Thirdly, that the ball cannot be played back over the halfway line, and fourthly, that the sweeper must be done away with.

I am no expert on the changes that need to be made, but the inescapable fact is that long periods of every county match now consist of possession football, with the ball going sideways and backwards for ages without any pressure from the opposing team.

Results are everything of course, but sooner or later  action must be taken – or, as former Roscommon Champion writer, now with the Sunday Independent, Eamonn Sweeney says, “ football is in danger of death by boredom”.


A huge honour for the village

Out here in Creggs, there is so much activity going on, from the work of the Tidy Towns committee and big developments at both the football and rugby club to improvements at the Heritage centre and lots of other local stuff. Unlike with the football, no one will die of boredom here!

Last week, a major honour came our way when the Creggs Rural Development Group were nominated to represent County Galway in the Climate and Biodiversity section in the National Pride of Place awards. They were presented with the Galway Pride of Place award for their commitment to promote, educate, raise awareness and enhance biodiversity in the village. This is a huge honour to represent the county on the national stage. Heartiest congratulations to all involved.


Gardening with…Peter!

As we make the most of this amazing weather, I find myself spending lots of time in the garden as a sort of apprentice or assistant to Carol, who is an avid gardener.

Now I have to admit that this fondness of gardening is a relatively recent happening for me, but I do appreciate how relaxing and peaceful some time spent outdoors is, and it does take our minds off the myriad problems that life throws at us.

However, I was surprised to see on some media forum recently that Munster and Ireland’s tough-as-nails wing-forward Peter O’Mahony loves spending time in his garden; apparently his attention to detail would shame even the most professional of gardeners.

I was amazed to see that he is such a perfectionist, but as he plays rugby with the utmost intensity, maybe it’s the perfect way for him to wind down. I saw pictures of the rugby great working in his spectacular garden and it surely is a credit to him.

I don’t know who will mind it for Peter while he’s away in France for the World Cup! Maybe he will be looking for a slightly mature, but ever-willing apprentice, but if not, he might give Tonikaku (see main item) the chance to sunbathe his fine body down there on Leeside. What a sight that would be!

*Speaking of gardening, out there in Glinsk, as they all recover from the fantastic success of their recent big draw, Maria Fitzmaurice tells me the gardening club continues this Saturday, 10th of June in Barlow’s from 10 am to 1 pm and all are welcome. The eircode is F45EH27 and you can ring 087 7583522 for any further information.


And finally…

It’s back to Creggs now, where the Rural Development and Tidy Towns group recently launched their new newsletter, ‘News from the Village Pump’ – and a very welcome and informative publication it is.

The newsletter aims to keep everyone up to date with all the happenings in the area and to encourage you all to get involved in the many local active groups.

I’m not sure how often the newsletter will be produced, but the first one is a great addition to our area, so well done to all involved.