Isn’t it sad when our self-esteem is determined by our acceptance in society? Isn’t it a disgrace when some of us are forced to pretend to be something or someone we’re not; when, despite the fact most of us have found acceptance within our own hearts and within our own heads, we’re clearly terrified of identifying our true selves because the world around us still unmercifully tries to shame us, mock us or ridicule us.
That was my reaction to last week’s RTE documentary ‘The Only Gay in the Village,’ where several beautiful, young Irish people dealt with the reality of being gay in rural Ireland. One of the participants profiled was 36-year-old Roscommon farmer Will Keane who said his big regret was not revealing to his now deceased dad that he was gay.
Now I don’t know Will, I’ve never met him or his parents; indeed my only acquaintance with this man was watching him on the telly. However, as a parent I’d imagine that Will’s dad, whom he said enquired as to where the kids would go when Will got a new two-door car, had long got over the fact he wasn’t going to have grandchildren. Indeed, I’d say he had well caught up with the realisation that you Will, his only son, were a wonderful human being who was living his own life and making his own way in the big, bad world.
It’s my belief that, with a parent’s perception and understanding, Will’s dear dad knew that his only son, his ‘miracle child’, was possibly desperately seeking his validation, but again, it’s also my belief that Will had it all along, and it’s likely that, even though his dad saw his own values in his son; he also saw him gently tweak those values to make them fit his own life as a gay man. I also believe, through listening to Will, that he had a unique bond with his parents, one that was strong enough to last, even now that they are no longer around. My belief comes from the fact that Will has shown his love by giving up his successful career, and his life in Dublin, returning to rural Ireland to run his family’s farm.
Every child is uncomfortable about something in themselves; I won’t go into my own countless insecurities or the things I despised about myself when growing up because this column would go on longer than Ben Hur; but despite them all, I know my own dad adored me and it’s only as we grow older, and grow into ourselves, we get to understand the beauty our parents have always seen within us.
I believe Will’s dad also saw that same beauty in him; especially when Will said he remembered one particular occasion where his father looked up at him driving the tractor and told him he was proud of him. Now if I were Will, I would imagine that this was the defining moment when his father possibly tried to let his only son know that everyone is different in some way or another, and that it was okay for Will to show his way of life to the world; to reveal the fact he was a gay man.
While the bulk of us try to fit into a so-called ‘norm,’ I believe Will’s dad, like many parents, accepted that these conditions, these restrictions, were too tight for his son to feel free in, and he was proud that his darling boy had met people with whom he could be himself. We are all beautiful human beings; not because we are any better or any worse than anyone else, but because we are exactly what we are meant to be…our normal selves. I wish Will every happiness possible and I’m sure that both his mam and dad are enormously proud of their only son.
This ‘Femi-Nazi’ has Katie worked out!
I’m not sure what those irate viewers hoped to achieve by complaining to RTE regarding motormouth Katie Hopkins and her appearance on last Friday’s Late Late Show; I mean, we live in a democratic society and if I’d been the guest booker – (one of my many former roles at the national broadcaster) – I wouldn’t have bowed to public pressure or manufactured controversy and had her dropped; sure the woman’s entitled to her opinion. And, despite the fact I’ve often disagreed with this outspoken, charmless, Trump lovin’ squawker who crassly said she’d “prefer to be grabbed by the p***y than have a p***y for president,” I wouldn’t have denied the poor, delusional biddy a chance to guzzle on some life-affirming publicity, she obviously needs the validation, bless her.
To be honest, I was more annoyed with journalist Colette Browne and presenter Ryan Tubridy for lazily allowing “proud Brexiteer” Hopkins free reign to spew her brand of offensive, sickening, invective, locker room, toilet bowl charm without interjection. Couldn’t they share their opinions also? What happened to Tubridy’s hosting skills? Why did he roll over? I knew the moment Hopkins, who trademarks herself as “loosely a woman,” brought out her pathetic little “label” cards, like some attention-seeking brat, showcasing words such as “racist,” and branded those of us who’re horrified that the likes of a misogynist with no discerning qualities or experience in politics is now the most powerful person on the planet, “femi-nazis,” that someone, anyone if Ryan couldn’t quickly grow a set, should have stepped in and opined that with comments such as those, this individual with the Donald-look-a-like hair-do could also be considered as “loosely” a human being!
But look folks, I think the “femi-nazi” in me has got it all worked out…Katie ‘s on a publicity drive to move to the US, become Trump’s First Lady and bring about the Apocalypse…I look forward to the next four years of this well-matched pair’s insightful banter…not!
Are you on the Breast Check Register?
Readers may have noticed the Breast Check mobile unit parked outside Roscommon University Hospital; with those of a certain age receiving their invitation to attend for a free mammogram. I had mine last Saturday, and despite the fact it was decidedly uncomfortable, (I won’t lie), I have to say it’s a wonderful service.
The radiologists, who were friendly and professional ladies, carry out 20 mammograms each per day at the unit; meaning that’s a total of 40 lives being potentially saved in this county per day…and, as approximately 2,700 women are newly-diagnosed with breast cancer each year in Ireland, attending for screening is not just essential, it’s critically lifesaving. An excellent service; Freephone 1800 45 45 55 to make sure you don’t miss out.