Why middle-aged ladies are bringin’ sexy back!

Female readers will most likely agree with me (I hope) when I say that every great outfit begins with a good bra and a nice pair of clean knickers; er, especially if you’re out on a windy day and your skirt accidently blows up over your head. And, as I always say, there comes a time in our lives, when, upon reaching a certain age, a girl just has to make that agonising choice between face or figure, meaning sadly for those of us who can’t afford cosmetic surgery…me, focusing our attentions on keeping our butts trim and nicely encased in a pair of frilly fru fru knickers is the way to go.

  I mean, let’s face it girls, we all know that being well-groomed and dressing appropriately is important at any age, however, when you reach that so-called ‘middle-aged’ milestone, it’s still possible to showcase that signature style of your thirties, a slightly adapted one albeit, but there is absolutely no need to ditch the sexy underwear.

  This is why I got quite peeved with a piece I read in this week’s Irish Independent which reported ‘Granny’s frilly knickers spark row in rural village.’ Now it was a fun piece, but it was also pretty serious in that in a scenario that manages to be absolutely incredible, yet not at all surprising, given the begrudgery of some idiots, a clearly fashionable 65-year-old granny living in the UK has sparked a row among some petty, rigid and possibly green with envy neighbours in her Devon village, leading to some posting angry and extremely poorly spelled notes through her front door! It says an awful lot about how surreal and empty some people’s lives are when a lady cannot even hang out a pair of ‘sexy’ knickers on her own washing line now, doesn’t it?

  So what if this middle-aged lady wishes to dress to impress…what business is it of the prudish trespasser, (I can picture a pitch fork wielding aul frump in a pair of well-worn flowery flannelette bloomers climbing over her wall), who felt the need to post the note along with the owner’s knickers, which they snatched from her line, through her letterbox?

  Why is it that just because women reach a certain age…say 50, we are supposed to forgo the youthful look and instead adopt the dowdy granny home perm that looks like Mrs. Doubtfire knit your hair for you during a marathon Home Ec session? This 65-year-old lady is entitled to wear whatever undies she desires, because, despite the fact she’s of a pensionable age, she obviously feel she’s still got some of the best years of her life ahead of her. Why should she wear shapeless buttoned up baggy cardies and mid-calf pleated skirts that cover up a pair of armpit-hugging grey knickers just to please some intolerant zealot?

  Okay, I agree there is a fine line between dressing like a slut and dressing like a sexy siren and it’s clear some restricted, inflexible, blinkered parishioner felt that this was the case. However, there is nothing more sensual than a woman who knows her own style and there is nothing more important than dressing in a way that pleases you…as in yourself!

  There’ll always be some covetous vigilante Gok Wan wannbe suffering from a passive aggressive personality disorder brought on by insecurity who’s possibly harbouring a morbid condition whereby when they feel p***ed off with someone’s right and freedom to dress as they deem appropriate, they may actually feel physical pain leading them to picket, boycott and post poorly spelled and grammatically incorrect taunts through letter boxes.

  Now while I’m not suggesting that women of a certain vintage should go out this weekend and purchase every single trend from the rails of Forever 21, I mean, we don’t want to look like Malibu Barbie now, do we? What I am saying is feck the begrudgers and don’t be afraid to push that clothes/age barrier boundary a little bit. G’wan yez good things; I’ll meet yas all down at grab a granny night in the town!

Stench of entitlement is damaging to FG!

The stench of entitlement hung thick in the air last week; well I imagine it did if you were around Fine Gael’s Catherine Noone and Michelle Mulherrin and the discussion centred on what I’m dubbing GAA-gate!

  In Ms. Noone’s case, she was “a bit taken aback,” at not being in the golden circle…ah bless, did those horrid GAA bosses leave you out love? And, despite the fact Noone contacted the Irish Independent directly to stamp her little foot, she, er “did not seek this to be in the papers.” Your Press Officer should really clue you in dearie…you see, if you don’t want your whining in the public domain, don’t place it there. Simple!

  As for Michelle Mulherin, in whose view the whole ‘I got no ticket’ debacle is “clear discrimination by the GAA,” I have to say…whinge to someone who gives a damn…in fact, why not discuss it over a ‘late night ‘phone call’ with your friend in Kenya, see if he can sort it for ya!

  Once again folks we bear witness to what is the damaging self-entitlement of the overpaid, and two women’s extraordinary inability to see themselves as those languishing on hospital trollies, those living on the streets and those eeking out an existence on the dole must now surely see them. I have to say, this pair’s shenanigans has given me a real sense of unease because in my view it is bad behaviour rooted in wastefulness and selfishness. Get your house in order Enda!

Kim’s keeping it real!

During her four-day trip to Mexico, Kim Kardshian, the woman with an a**e larger than Greece’s national debt, not only set a new record for ‘flexing’ and ‘firing off’ selfies, (see how I’m down with the kids with the lingo); 6,000 of them to be precise; (excessive); she’s also set a new record for being a vain narcissist; and methinks, perhaps a bit of a fibber saying, “I am empowered by feeling comfortable my skin (sic). I am empowered by showing the world my flaws and not being afraid of what anyone is going to say about me.” What a load of bull! How can wearing fake hair, fake boobs, fake lashes, fake butt, (she insists it’s real), fake nails and fake tan be ‘feeling comfortable’ in your own skin?

  In fact, it appears the only ‘skin’ this eejit is comfortable in is an animal’s; one who has given its life in order to satisfy her vanity. Now  there’s no shame in having cosmetic surgery and giving Mother Nature a helping hand; I’m all for it, but don’t try passing off that booty as a ‘natural flaw.’ Besides, while her four days in Mexico were spent ‘flexing’ selfies, where did the mother-of-two get time to mind her kids, visit karaoke clubs, get drunk, fall down and nurse a hangover? Now if she were to ‘fire off’ that bit of useful info I may actually sit up and take notice.