Why I won’t be tying a yellow ribbon round the old oak tree for Michaella!

Okay, forget what you’ve heard, because it appears crime does pay! Well it does if you’re an arrogant drug mule like Michaella McCollum Connolly, the 23-year-old Tyrone woman, whom, while holidaying in Ibiza in 2013 ‘disappeared’ before raising her cheeky head over a week later in Lima airport where she was arrested along with gal pal Melissa Reid as they, according to the Irish Mirror, were ‘trying to board a flight with 24lbs of cocaine hidden inside food packages in their luggage.’ Yeah, you remember her, the poor, put-upon lickle “I’m not a bad person” Michaella, bless, is now free and sure you can almost hear the bluebirds sing, flutter and bob about her luscious platinum blonde locks.

  I mean, doesn’t she look amazing with her flawlessly made-up face and enviably long, toned legs encased in a pair of designer ripped jeans that would make fashionistas weep as she granted us law-abiding folk an audience, with her first ever interview afforded to RTE following her release from Peruvian ‘hellhole’ Ancon 2; or as it’s affectionately known by those lie-spinning jailbirds like McCollum Connolly, ‘Hell’s Hacienda.’

  Well hang on there now a second my precious while I run out and tie a yellow ribbon round the old oak tree for ya! And hold still while I get in touch with those good ole’ country ‘n’ western folk and see if they’ll pen a little ditty in your honour…the ballad of the Peru Two! Eh, NOT!

  You see I don’t feel anything but utter contempt for selfish, mendacious drug mules, especially ones who aren’t prepared to pay the piper if they’re caught and who initially claim they ‘were forced into carrying the drugs.’ Okay, the pair did eventually come clean and plead guilty, but not before weaving an elaborate tale which first came to the public’s attention when Michaella’s distraught family launched a Facebook appeal for information concerning her whereabouts when they hadn’t heard from her for ten days.

  The whole incident was reported at the time by the Evening Herald which stated: ‘The girls said they had been threatened at gunpoint to carry out the task for the drug dealers,’ with Michaella, in an Oscar winning performance, adding for effect, “This man approached us as we were on a night out and offered to show us a good time in San Antonio. He was the one who handed us over to the South Americans. There was always the threat of violence,” she added. “In the house, the men openly carried guns and would frequently point them at us. We both had a pistol put to our heads with the trigger cocked. We would have done anything they said.” As a mother, I can just imagine what this terror must have done to the reckless, molly-coddled, self-serving young woman’s own poor distressed mammy, Norah.

  Now while I’m sure Michaella and Melissa Reid are not bad people, rather they are more likely two bloody conniving eejits, the fact is what they did was wrong, and, to be honest, serving just two years and three months of an original six-year-eight-month sentence is absolutely no deterrent whatsoever. Mind you, neither is emerging from said ‘hellhole’ looking like they’ve spent a month at a 5-star health spa!

  Now I’m all for rehabilitation – sure when I was living in Dublin I designed and delivered education programmes for those in the Irish prison system – and I’m glad Lima-based Bishop Sean Walsh has offered Michaella a voluntary position with his Church, where he’ll provide accommodation in his own home, with the prospect of her being ‘allowed to work and study if she wants to do that,’ but sorry folks, in my opinion, these concessions are more than this manipulative, deceitful drug mule deserves. This woman thought she could callously break the law, make a mint and pee all over the rest of us right-thinking individuals as she did it. However, I do agree with the Bishop’s comment regarding the cunning, impudent little madam, describing her as “innovative and productive” – well, she’s certainly no Forrest Gump figure, that’s for sure, Bishop Sean.

  Now Michaella’s been sprung, I’ve no doubt this reformed and fine upstanding citizen will earn a fortune working the circuit with appearances on the likes of Ellen, Celebrity Big Brother and I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here, et al, giving us the two fingers as she tearfully claims to have suffered some sort of makey-uppey, unspecified, unpronounceable disorder that made her lie, cheat and deceive an entire nation! I know… maybe she could go into politics!

Why do we tend to blame the ‘other’ woman?

Here’s a thought – wouldn’t it be great if we were all forgiving wives willing to turn a blind eye to the hubby’s ‘sextual’ banter (should it occur) with another woman – especially when said other woman is a hot, 29-year-old blonde bombshell – and instead believe sleazy hubby’s lies, sorry, claims, he only responded because, by way of doing him a service, the hot harlot was sending him “information she wanted to pass on.”

  Now what kind of a thicko would ya be to swallow that? The kind that is Tess Daly – well, the kind of thicko her sordid, low-life husband Vernon Kay would like us to believe she is. Now mind you, apparently poor misguided Tess seems blind to the fact her creepy hubby ‘Uncle Vern’ is a despicable prat who appears to care sweet feck all for her or their two beautiful kids and instead chooses to lay the blame firmly at the feet of said ‘sext’ message bearer Rhian Sugden. Perhaps this is denial, perhaps it’s a coping strategy or perhaps Tess doesn’t want to lose her role as one half of a massively earning power couple; who knows? Let me tell you girls that a man you cannot trust is dangerous to your very survival status because it means your family’s time, attention and resources are now being diverted elsewhere.

  Women suffer greatly when lied to, meaning that if Kay is lying about his reasons for his inappropriate sexting to another woman, Tess will already be in pain, even thinking she’s losing her mind, feeling in some way that she’s personally defective, imagining things when in fact the opposite is the truth…her gut is telling her that the tension she’s experiencing in her mind and body is justified and that she should throw this rat out and find herself someone she can trust, someone who is worthy of her and someone whose ‘phone she won’t have to police for the rest of her married life! I wish her the very best.

Breege’s timely concern on Mental Health service

Last week’s report in this newspaper where Breege Callaghan of the Psychiatric Nurses’ Association expressed ‘grave concern at the number of mental health patients who are being involuntary admitted to the psychiatric unit at Roscommon Hospital,’ is very worrying indeed – and Ms. Callaghan is right to be concerned.

  People, whether mentally ill or otherwise, have a right to refuse treatment just as they have a right to receive it; however, sadly these rights can often become the focus of debate and dispute for those who suffer acute mental illness and their concerned families. That said, I would personally opine that, in an emergency situation, all scenarios are off and if a loved one or a member of my family was showing an imminent threat to their own, mine, or another’s safety, then I’d step up and do all I could to protect them from themselves, even if that meant having a health specialist provide involuntary treatment.

  Roscommon, Ms. Callaghan claims, in terms of psychiatric supports “could be 20 years behind other counties,” and I suspect this lovely lady is quite correct when she suggests we are not in receipt of the same services as others; a set of community resources would be a far better solution to coercion. What’s needed is a critical care emergency plan that provides the necessary communication and supports between patients, medical care-givers and families. While I know that laws are in place to serve citizens, we must not forget that those who are mentally ill have rights even when they are experiencing an episode that seriously impairs their decision-making abilities. Maybe it’s time our Mental Health Act 2001 was overhauled?