What a week! I met Simon… then had a missed call from Michael Healy-Rae!

Wow! What a week in politics! Leo gone! Josepha gone! But I see Nina’s running now!


Nina Carberry, she’s running in the race…

Nah, she’s a jockey, you might be mixing her up with…

I don’t mean RUNNING as an athlete! I KNOW she’s a jockey! She’s running in the European Elections! For Fine Gael!


She was endorsed by Simon at a convention in Athlone on Sunday. Nina’s in! I heard it from the horse’s mouth!

Oh, right!

A celebrity candidate!

The parties should run more celebrity candidates…

Yeah, they could take inspiration from the selection of Nina. They could start with her world!


We need more people who can take the reins and overcome any hurdles; people who don’t mind mucking in; people who are flexible, strong, have a winning mentality, will use the whip where necessary…

That reminds me! I had a missed call from Michael Healy-Rae!


(They pause to lament Roscommon’s relegation from Division One)


Tell me more!


Your missed call from Michael Healy-Rae, what was that about?

Well, I don’t know, do I? I MISSED IT! You tell me about Nina, you mentioned hearing it from the horse’s mouth…

Well, I was in Athlone on Sunday.


We had vouchers for that cruise on the Shannon…

Oh yeah…

Next thing, Simon Harris just appears…

He can walk on water?

Not quite! We were pulling in for refreshments – to Sean’s bar…

Sounds nice!

Suddenly, there’s smiling Simon four feet away from me!


… he was in Athlone for the FG event, but first he was pressing the flesh on the streets. So we had a chat, and he confirmed Nina’s in the race!

So you’re on first-name terms with our next Taoiseach?

Yes! And the pint in Sean’s bar was lovely!


(They pause to check if they can mow their respective lawns, but the grass, sadly, is too wet)


Now tell me about Michael Healy-Rae… you must have an idea why he was calling?

Well, you know our secret plans to set up a political party?

YOUR secret plans!

I asked a friend to run it by the Healy-Raes! Word is they’re not too happy about Michael Fitz joining up with Independent Ireland!

Are they interested in joining OUR party?

That’s what I’m hoping! My source reckons the Healy-Raes would insist on us recruiting some celebrity candidates in these parts!

Let’s get working on it!


(To be continued)



By the way, when you were on that boat in Athlone, did Simon ask if you’d give Fine Gael candidates a vote?

Of course! Especially when I told him I was a FLOATING voter!