We’re not Secret Service agents! It’s the local elections!

So, who’s going to this meeting?

Top secret!

You can tell me!

I need to keep things tight…

You want me to be your Director of Elections! You have to tell me who’s going to the meeting!

Tap finger to nose, mysterious wink, keep things tight!

We’re not Secret Service agents! It’s the local elections!


(They pause to check if anyone is within earshot as they continue their furtive chat)


Are you REALLY going for it?

Absolutely! I think!

On what grounds?

On the grounds that the time has come for decisive leadership, I think!

Let me get this straight… you’re going to declare for the local elections, and you’re planning a meeting of your kitchen cabinet?



Eh… in our kitchen?

And who’s going?

Well, I have a special adviser, a close confidant, a trusted colleague, a number cruncher, a strategist… and a dab hand at putting up posters!

Impressive! That’s about six people already on board! You’ll hardly need me!

Not need you? THAT’S ALL YOU! YOU are the special adviser/close confidant/trusted colleague/number cruncher…

Okay, I get it! But seriously, you must have other people coming to the meeting?

I need to keep my cards close to my chest, but I’ll invite my wife, neighbour number three…

What’s their name… neighbour number three?

Dunno, they only moved in two years ago!

How do you hope to get elected if you don’t know your neighbours?

Relax! Once we get this meeting out of the way, you and I will cover our bailiwick with the speed of a whirlwind!

Yeah, and probably as destructive!


(They pause to draw up a provisional strategy for how to get elected)


Not sure if I can be involved…

You HAVE to! You’re my right-hand man! My Director of Elections! We’ll be a dream team!

We could be a nightmare team!

We can do this! The time is right!

Is it? Or is it just an ego trip?

No! Ego doesn’t come into it, if I say so myself! One great thing about me is I recognise the importance of not being too egotistical. I’m brilliant on that front!

You’re absolutely certain you want to run?

It’s not about what I want!


It’s the pressure I’m being put under! I’ve received so many calls from people urging me to run!

Oh don’t start!

So are you on?

I’ll speak to MY people! I understand this is about public service. How much does a Director of Elections get paid?

Oh dear! Now are you buying me a pint?