Wanted! Someone with a brain and a heart to run the country!

As we, the people of Roscommon, prepare to celebrate the centenary of our country’s Easter Rising, as we prepare to honour our heroes and our ancestors who made the ultimate sacrifice in the name of social justice for all Irish citizens, the sad fact is, following all the hype of a General Election, our country still lacks a provisional government!

  Let me tell you, the irony of that situation is most certainly not lost on me.

            Last week, as our arrogant, narcissistic politicians displayed their usual grandiose sense of self-importance with their fantasies of unlimited power and battled it out to see who’d win the big prize, net the fat salary, become Taoiseach and lead our country, a vulnerable voter was fighting for his survival and his possessions in his rural home.

  It’s true, amid all of their wheeling and dealing, their promises and pledges, they were ignorant to the fact that a member of their electorate and, most importantly, an elderly pensioner, was being beaten to a pulp with his own walking stick. And, as the main party players all danced a merry jig around each other like nervous schoolgirls attending their first dance, each nominating their own thick-necked leader as Taoiseach, a gang of four – and there is no other way to describe these gutless parasites but to label them despicable scumbags – were, according to the Irish Independent, demanded money with menace from this helpless, elderly senior citizen. Well, you know the old saying, there’s no honour among thieves and in this case, it’s certainly true of these spineless pieces of slime.

  Ah yes, another week, another stomach-churning story of a violent, unprovoked attack on a cherished father, a taxpayer, a man who contributed to his community, a man trying to live a peaceful life in a rural setting, but whom instead had his security and tranquillity shattered and violated by a group of cruel, vile thugs who know that rural Ireland is now practically un-policed and open for pilfering!

  But there was a scene folks, across the country, in our Capital city, smack-bang outside of the GPO, the building that holds enormous historic and symbolic importance to the Irish people, the sacred ground where a century ago, a group of seven visionaries led our small nation into a fight for independence, the building where, on Easter Monday, 24th April, at precisely 12.30 pm, the Tricolour was raised and a proud and brave Pádraig Pearse valiantly emerged onto O’Connell Street and read the Proclamation. 

  Fast-forward to 2016, and a charitable soup kitchen, manned by compassionate volunteers, doles out food! Yes, it is this very same building, on that very same spot, that, last Saturday, just a few kilometres from the opulence of Dáil Eireann, the Irish Independent reported that a three-year-old toddler, a pig-tailed, bright, bubbly little girl, hungry and homeless, stood waiting for her dinner! How the hell can this have happened? How can our country and our people have been brought to this level of desolation?

  I’m bored silly of hearing our caretaker Taoiseach’s ebullient gushing about how the economy is rising…well wake up and smell your own bulls**t Enda, and, while you’re at it, you and the other party leaders should go and get an MRI scan to see if any one of you possesses a brain and is capable of becoming our Taoiseach!

  As you all engaged in your feeble battle of wits in the plush confines of Leinster House to see which of you peacocks will rule the roost, an innocent child, in a fight for her very survival, was forced to queue on the streets of our Capital on a freezing cold March night in order to put food in her empty little tummy, making it crystal clear to me, that poverty is also growing!

            When a 93-year-old senior citizen, significantly born into the bitter, bloody republic of 1923, is not safe in his own home, it’s blatantly obvious that the thick, black clouds of austerity are still hanging over us, casting a dark, depressing and disgraceful shadow over the freedom and social justice our ancestors fought so valiantly to protect.

            Shame on the lot of you! You make me sick!

Enough with the Nude Feud Ladies!

We all know that boys will be boys and girls will be, ahem sluts; especially if we’re perceived to call too much attention to our bodies; sure it’s just blatant old-fashioned, misogynistic sexism at its ugliest. And, with the current social media trend of posting naked selfies, a la Kim Kardashian, the sickening term of so-called ‘slut shaming’ has once again raised its ugly head.

  Now I’m all for self-expression and I’m all for women empowering each other and fair play to Kim for showing us all her post baby bits and boobs, and what have ya, and maybe she’s not attention-seeking, as some have suggested, maybe her hubby’s ever-growing debts have rendered the poor girl knicker-less, and maybe I should setup a ‘go fund me’ page to buy her a decent thong.

  Whatever Kim’s reason for showing us her bikini wax, I do agree with veteran entertainer Bette Midler when she says “if Kim wants us to see a part of her we’ve never seen, she’s gonna have to swallow the camera.” 

            You see, wasn’t it only a few years ago that Kimmie got all hot and bothered over the release of a ‘leaked’ and highly revealing sex tape that apparently led to a ‘devastating’ time in her life, bless her, prompting me to suggest…if you don’t want nude pictures of yourself floating around the public domain love, don’t post them!

  However, Sharon Osbourne’s show of solidarity and support of Kim was nothing short of cringe-worthy. The former X Factor judge and reality show participant posted her own ‘nude selfie’ with the caption, “@kimkardashian you inspired me! #liberated #thetalk.” Well Shazza, I can tell you that when I saw your picture something else was also #liberated … me dinner!

Old Ford, one careful owner

I can certainly see why Calista Flockhart thinks old Fords are the most reliable; especially when it comes to her sexy hubby, Harrison. While I’m no advocate for dating toy boys, I do understand why many women find them attractive. However, isn’t it better to have a man who has a past, someone whose history is just toxic enough to rival your own and who, like you, resembles road-kill the morning after?

  Ah yes, give me a craggy-faced man any day; at least his five o’clock shadow will be thicker than mine! But I digress. My reason for finding old Ford sexy is his recent public support of adult daughter Georgia’s struggle with Epilepsy, saying, “She’s my hero. I love her.”

  According to Brainwave/Epilepsy Ireland, it’s estimated there are 30,000 to 40,000 people with epilepsy in this country. Now while I do understand that animals and humans are different, my beloved faithful little friend, my Jack Russell Sophie, who was like a daughter to me, sadly suffered epileptic seizures from the time I rescued her as a six-week-old puppy ‘till her death at 19 years.

  Epilepsy Ireland has a local office in Sligo. For details of their Outreach Service, why not contact them on Tel: 071 91 41858.

  In the meantime, Lá Fhéile Pádraig Sona Daoibh.