With cocaine use on the rise locally, PAUL HEALY spoke to local professionals about supports available in Roscommon
Throughout County Roscommon, as across Ireland, the shadow of addition looms large. It is a scourge, a tragedy, a ruthless creator of heartbreak.
The misuse of drugs and alcohol has long been a problem in Irish society – the sad reality is that the situation is getting worse. The prevalence of illegal drugs in Ireland has remained relatively stable, but the intensity of drug-related problems has grown.
For example, cocaine use has risen dramatically, creating serious health issues and widespread distress. In general, drug misuse is negatively impacting on many lives, destroying some.
And it is not just the person with an addiction that’s impacted. Their families are often cast into a vortex of confusion, hurt, anger and anguish, with drug use ruthlessly turning their lives into emotionally draining chaos, into a grim Groundhog Day without the smiles.
It is now widely accepted that illegal drugs are in circulation in every town and village in County Roscommon (and adjoining counties). Cocaine use is on the increase, normalised to a deeply worrying degree.
Many individuals in this newspaper’s circulation area are living in misery because of their addiction. They’re suffering – and so are their families. The good news – a beacon of light and hope in an otherwise dark landscape – is that there is help available.
To learn about the comprehensive supports in place for families affected by a loved one’s drug or alcohol use, I recently met with Noreen Burke of the Roscommon Drug and Alcohol Family Support, and Felicia Loughrey, Project Coordinator, South Roscommon Family Resource Centre.
How addiction affects family members
We began our conversation by establishing the nature of the impact drugs and alcohol can have on loved ones.
Noreen, who deals with affected families in County Roscommon on a daily basis, outlined the many challenges – emotional, physical, practical – that are typically encountered.
Having a loved one that drinks or uses drugs in a problematic way can impact on personal health, relationships, finances, work, school and on many other aspects of life.
The stress and strain involved can throw families into disarray, leading to lack of sleep, headaches, social isolation, depression, anxiety, etc.
If one partner in a relationship is addicted to drugs or alcohol, it will impact greatly on the other partner. Their relationship will deteriorate, the wellbeing of both people affected. Any children in the house will inevitably suffer. Sometimes, adult children who are in college might curtail or stop visits home, such are the tensions in the household.
More often than not, a family will become absorbed by the substance user’s problem. This can lead to tensions, arguments, and even violence. Disputes may arise within a family (including between parents) as to how best to address the issues. Trying to ‘fix’ the problem can become all-consuming, at the expense of almost every other aspect of normal life, with self-neglect and neglect of others sometimes resulting. It is not unusual for performance at work and school to be affected.
Often, the partner or parent may find it difficult to communicate with their loved one. Channels that were once clear have become clouded. As Noreen Burke of the Roscommon support centre explained, many family members don’t understand why the addicted person’s personality has changed.
“What we need to understand” Noreen says, “is that alcohol easily finds its way into the brain and when there has a deep effect on the brain structure and functions. Alcohol is a neurotoxin, meaning that it is poisonous to neurons, the main type of brain cell. Alcohol causes short and long term effects to the brain and the risks and harms change throughout the lifecourse.”
She describes the behavioural trends associated with people with addiction.
“The Substance Use and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) once defined substance addiction as the ‘compulsive, excessive and difficult to control substance use (or other initially pleasurable behaviour) that interferes with ordinary life, work, health and relationships’.
“A person with substance use disorder might begin to show up late or miss work altogether and fail to perform other day to day responsibilities. Most likely their addiction will negatively impact on children in the house, and on their relationships with other family members and friends.”
Family members often report that living with a substance user can be exhausting, unpredictable and heartbreaking. Various emotions are felt, including anger, sadness, shame, fear, guilt, anxiety, hurt, and helplessness.
People with addiction can become very manipulative. In some instances, they will lie. They may steal. There may be intimidation, violence. Families will often be at odds over how best to cope.
Noreen says that if an addicted person is upsetting family members because of their addiction, it’s often the case that they don’t realise the impact their behaviour is having.
The professional advice is to try to avoid argument, and confrontation, as that will only escalate the existing sense of conflict. Instead, talk to the person in positive terms. Give them hope.
At the same time, Noreen warns against enabling substance users.
For example, if a loved one is repeatedly missing work because of their drug use, or perhaps has stolen money, there should be accountability.
“Set boundaries. Then enforce the boundaries. You still love them, but you don’t love the behaviour.”
At all times, the advice is: seek help. That applies to the person with addiction, as to the people affected by their behaviour.
This is where (and when) professional support can make a difference. This is where the light can be gently let in.
Family support – available now in Roscommon
The Roscommon Drug and Alcohol Family Support Service, which operates under the auspices of the Western Region Drug & Alcohol Task Force, is based at Castle View, 17 Castle Street, Roscommon Town.
This centre provides a safe and confidential space for people who are affected by a loved one’s substance abuse. This service is free, and it’s available (on an individualised basis) to people now.
The first step for people who are seeking help is to make contact with the service. Once you get in touch, you are in the hands of empathetic professionals who can help let that light in.
Noreen Burke explains that people come to the centre at different stages in their journey with a loved one who has addiction issues. All are dealt with in confidence, and with compassion. An intake and assessment is the start of the process.
The primary substances of misuse and abuse that family members report to Noreen relate to alcohol, cocaine, cannabis, benzodiazepines, and heroin – in that order.
Typically, the person seeking help will outline their concerns, perhaps concentrating on one or more aspects of how they are being impacted.
Once the person’s needs and goals have been established, the support process begins. Roscommon Drug and Alcohol Family Support will assign a family support worker to conduct a number of one-to-one sessions with the family member who’s seeking support.
Using evidence-based programmes, the family support worker will help you identify your needs, goals and strengths and work with you to make positive progress.
Noreen Burke: “I work with family members to motivate their loved ones to acknowledge that they may have a problem with substances and to nudge them along to look for and accept help.
“When family members learn to talk to their loved one using positive words, statements that start with ‘I’ demonstrate understanding of the nature of their disease, and share responsibility for arguing with each other, then the loved is much more likely to be open to receiving the help they need and tend to be more successful in reaching early recovery. This method is known as Community Reinforcement and Family Training or CRAFT.
“Another activity with family members is to get them to tell the story of living with their loved one with substance use disorder. By providing family members with high-quality information, looking at their coping mechanisms and ways to grow their positive support, that can reduce the stress and strain caused by their loved one’s substance misuse. This is the called the 5-Step Method”.
These one-to-one supports are provided in a safe and non-judgemental space, where you will be listened to and supported.
In addition to these in-person support sessions, there are online groups and further supports available, while the centre also has all of the relevant information one might need in relation to the various issues that arise when living with someone with addiction, including what to do if there is drug-related intimidation being experienced.
Once people have learnt ways to cope differently, they may be referred to further services locally (based on needs).
Felicia Loughrey, Project Coordinator at South Roscommon Family Resource Centre, says the feedback from people who avail of the drug and alcohol family support service is very positive.
Drug-related intimidation
Some families in County Roscommon have experienced intimidation from drug dealers.
People who are addicted may incur debt to fuel their habit, and such debts can become unmanageable. In some instances, drug dealers may opt to threaten other family members (in order to have the debt resolved). They may threaten to burn a family’s car, break the windows of your house, or even make a threat to life. It is obviously terrifying for the people involved.
The Roscommon centre liaises with An Garda Síochána on this issue and has advice for families experiencing drug-related intimidation.
‘There is always hope’
My visit to the Roscommon Drug and Alcohol Family Support Centre confirmed two things: that substance misuse is having a devastating impact in our society, with many individuals and families traumatised – and that help is readily available.
Meeting Noreen and Felicia, I was struck by their empathy, and their positivity. The centre itself emits a calming aura and a positive energy.
Noreen stressed that recovery is always possible, and that families should try to get the person with addiction to talk to an addiction counsellor.
On this, Noreen said: “The treatment and recovery systems for substance use disorder are primarily orientated on the person with the disorder and less so to the family members impacted. But I regularly am receiving referrals or forwarding family members on to any or all of these other support services related to their loved one’s drug or alcohol misuse.”
For families affected, there is every hope of their current challenging and exhausting journey being transformed into a pathway towards new beginnings – and renewed hope. Both Felicia Loughrey and Noreen Burke urge people to ask for help. I ask Noreen if she despairs of the societal trends, of how drug and alcohol abuse is darkening so many lives.
“I never despair. Family members are amazingly resilient, many having lived with this situation in their family unit for many years. When we give family members a supportive, non-judgemental space to tell their story, remind them that they are not alone, the right tools for what they want to say to their loved one, it empowers family members and gives them tactics that work.
“It also instils hope in their hearts that change is possible, that they are not alone and that their loved one can recover and enjoy a fulfilling healthier life. There is always hope for recovery from substance use disorder. Always.”
The beacon of light can break through… does break through. If you or your family need help, take that first step now.
Making contact/services
- Noreen Burke of Roscommon Drug and Alcohol Family Support on 087 4710488/noreen.burke@wrdatf.ie
- AskAboutAlcohol – Information from the HSE; https://www.hse.ie/alcohol/information, 1800 459 459 for confidential information and support
- Community Healthcare West Drugs Service (Roscommon) Roscommon Primary Care Centre, Golf Links Road, Roscommon, Roscommon, Phone: (091) 561299, Email: drugs.services@hse.ie
- Drug and Alcohol Information and Support in Ireland – Drugs.ie
- Western Region Drug and Alcohol Taskforce www.wrdatf.ie, The Parent Hub
- Alcoholics Anonymous Ireland; https: www.alcoholicsanonymous.ie
- Al-Anon on www.al-anon-Ireland.org
- Smart Recovery Ireland on smartrecovery.ie
- West Be Well; https://www.westbewell.ie
