Wow! DC! Awesome!
Huh?
What a guy! DC! Go on, it’s an easy guess! He’s the coolest dude around!
Ah, Daniel Craig! Yeah, he was so charismatic and charming at Wimbledon on Sunday!
Huh?
The men’s final. Alcaraz v Djokovic. The celebrities in the posh seats. And there he was, James Bond himself! The super-cool…Daniel Craig!
Not THAT DC! This DC can do ANYTHING! He can escape from the tightest possible situations!
That’s what I mean, Daniel Craig! It’s obvious you’re talking about Craig, Daniel Craig. Sorry, I mean Bond, James Bond…
NO!
Okay, I have it! Dominic Cummings. Now there’s a blast from the past! He could escape from…
NO! HE’S not the DC I’m excited about! I’M TALKING ABOUT THE MAN OF THE MOMENT!
Eh…DC…
THINK, JUST THINK!
I have it! David Cullinane, the Sinn Féin TD! DONIE CASSIDY?
NO! This guy’s a genius!
Why didn’t you say that? You mean the GAA legend?
YES!
Sure we all love Donal Óg Cusack! He’s great…
NO! It’s DAVID CLIFFORD! HE was awesome at the weekend. For Kerry! Versus Derry! He brought me a lot of pleasure! Put a smile on my face!
That’s odd, you seem stressed! Sure we all know David Clifford’s a genius! Pah!
(They pause to watch a rerun of Richard Hughes’ audacious goal for Roscommon Gaels against Oran)
What a weekend of sport. Any readers who don’t like sport should look away now!
(Editor (to himself): What about readers who love sport but can’t stand the boyos?)
As I was saying, before the Editor’s thought process got involved, some weekend of sport!
Yeah, Rory won in Scotland!
Which means the hype kicks off again, ahead of today’s Open!
We’re behind Rory all the way!
Agreed!
Two great All-Ireland SFC semi-finals too!
Yeah! The DC show!
Yes, Clifford led Kerry to victory against a superb Derry. And Dublin called on all their experience to see off a gallant Monaghan!
Beautifully put!
The tennis was amazing!
Agreed! It’s the changing of the guard!
As good as last weekend was, the Women’s World Cup begins today!
Come on you girls in green!
(They pause to check if it’s safe to start mowing the grass; it’s not)
By the way…Daniel Craig WASN’T the coolest guy at Wimbledon on Sunday.
Come off it! He’s James Bond! The sunglasses!
You’re overlooking the fact that BP was there! MR SUPER-COOL HIMSELF!
BP Fallon was at the men’s final??
No! BRAD PITT!
