Stop brainwashing minimum wage workers into believing we’re ‘middle-class’ elite!


Last week, Leo-I’m-an-early-riser-I-get-up-at-6.45 am-Varadker struggled to explain how he, the esteemed leader of our country, the man we’re all looking up to, came to the conclusion that those of us on minimum wage (me…and, for the record, I rise daily at 5.45 am), could be considered as ‘middle class’ even though we struggle to pay our bills!

  Well swaddle me in Leo cheer folks, ‘cause following that little insight into the dashing doc’s psyche I actually came to the conclusion that our standard of living will not advance one iota until our minted (and possibly delusional leader) gets a reality check!

  You see, in my opinion, Mr. Varadkar TD, MD, GP and, ahem, STUD (to many of his admirers), could do with reading the latest CSO figures, which found that nearly half a million adults are home to roost with d’ mammy because they can’t afford a mortgage, meaning they’re living from hand to mouth! So I’d like to ask him would these be the ‘middle class’, ‘minimum wage’, ‘standard statistic’, citizens you’re talking about Leo or do you have some other theory in mind and if we begged you with our ever so polite middle class manners, would you share it with us? Pretty purleeesee!

  Look folks, for those living on minimum wage –and according to the CSO’s Quarterly National Household Survey, “over 10 per cent of Irish workers are being paid the equivalent of, or less than, the national minimum wage of €9.25 per hour” – can I just state the bl***ing obvious here for Leo? These workers, these voters, due to no fault of their own, are now expected to work for a lot less money; as in your government has no problem using highly qualified, experienced professionals like you and me as cheap labour while TDs have got the temerity to reinstate their own pay cuts – awarding themselves a €5,000 restoration – and then try to brainwash us, as if we’re intellectually barren pillocks, into believing we’re in the ‘middle class’ earning league!

  Oh come on Leo, you’re like the typical, cheesy, handsome pantomime Prince Charming, leading me to wonder who shoved a couple of blue birds into you? Dare I suggest, was it Bertie Ahern, because that performance on Vincent Browne was Bertie-esque at its best. Yeah, you keep peddling son, and maybe the mud won’t stick!  

  Now excuse me while I leg it to the supermarket to stock up on cheap wine before you lash a massive tax on my favourite “mind-bending drug!”

Electric cars: Not such a bright spark!

The Government’s latest lofty ambition is to phase out diesel and petrol cars with all new vehicles sold being capable of having zero emissions by 2030. That means by 2030, 800,000 of us could be driving electric vehicles, and while I welcome any measure that helps our environment, I want to know if the Government loses the €2 billion revenue generated from fuel excise last year alone, what cunning plan do they have in store for taxpayers to replace it?

  In addition, do we have the infrastructure for this ambitious move? At present we’ve got around 1,200 charging points across Ireland…hardly enough. So they’ll need to be increased and I suppose we, the driver, will be forced to pay rocketing electricity bills in order to fund this little venture. However, according to Minister Shane Ross, “infrastructure will not be a barrier” and the move will “actively set Ireland on the right path to decarbonisation and cleaner air.”  

  I’ve a quicker and cheaper solution to cleaner air Minister. TDs should stop spewing a load of bulls**t – that’ll severely cut the toxic emissions. Sure you couldn’t even fix a feckin’ water leak in the North-East last week, so while I’m all for a cleaner environment, I’ll believe your battery breakthrough theory when it happens…if it happens. Vroom, vroom!

C’mon the Rossies!

Didn’t we almost have it all? Just how sweet was that taste of a near-victory last Sunday – but alas, despite the lads’ best efforts, despite them rising to the occasion of it all, despite them getting the better of Mayo in the opening minutes, and despite me screaming at d’telly when they scored, rendering hubby to run in from the shed thinking I’d been attacked; the Rossies failed to gain the advantage. 

  But never mind, I’m sure come bank holiday Monday they’ll bring their best game forward, do battle and do the bizzo in Croker! I won’t mention the petty booing levelled at Andy Moran, only to say, to those who took part; do try and mature before next week. That behaviour is not indicative of the genuinely decent and lovely Roscommon people I’ve come to know! Mind you, I won’t lie, this Dub will also be cheering All-Ireland champs Dublin on Saturday; so as I’ll be unleashing my inner scream queen this weekend, I should probably get poor hubby a set of ear plugs!