Seriously, I think we need to talk about the Election!

Now I’m not betraying any confidences by saying this, because it’s printed right here at www.independent.ie,  but it appears our Taoiseach, right, seems to be of the opinion that we, the very important voters, are all a right bunch of eejits who probably couldn’t find our way out of a thick fog.

  Well what else am I supposed to think when, last week, on T minus Day 1 of Operation Election 2016 and counting, Enda, looking dapper as ever (fair play, he’s always scrupulously turned out), and, displaying an enviable confidence, in the calm monotone of a man who has never woken in the darkest part of the night and wondered how he’ll pay his ESB bill, feed his family, make his car loan repayments or scrape enough together to meet his ever-increasing rent, insulted us all by responding to a simple question regarding his party’s funding of their election promises when he piped up with the astounding reply that he refused to get into the “economic jargon which the vast majority of people don’t understand.”

  Oh noooo, oh please, please oh Mighty One, we beg of you to enlighten us cretinous minions with your incredible insights concerning your plans for our country’s fiscal policies, should you be re-elected. You see, some of your subjects have major problems trying to balance their social welfare payments not knowing which child should get new shoes this week and which should get that painful tooth filled; and sure now with that extra 50 cent an hour you so generously bestowed upon us during the Budget, allowing us ‘experienced adult’ workers to earn a whopping, wallet-bulging €9.15 an hour (before tax), well what can I say, sure it’s practically  party central most weekends in Roscommon with the average ‘experienced’ adult worker able to fritter away, oh, all of what…an extra €15 a week.

  Still, looking on the bright side, it is €15 coming in rather than going out isn’t it; and let me add, us eejits are really very grateful for the extra few crumbs you and Labour have thrown us…no, really, we are. And, in fairness, why would we expect a man who thought our country’s workers’ annual minimum wage was €35,000 to know anything about future funding?

  Enda did tell Eileen Dunne on the RTE News that “the average worker, a single worker on the minimum wage of €35,000 is going to get back €400 in the income tax returns starting in January,” when discussing water charges, didn’t he?

 Now I wonder, did our lovely Taoiseach pluck that mythical figure out of the air all by himself because, as we know, €35,000 is double the amount the ‘average worker’ is earning so, the other day when a reporter asked Enda another ‘fiscally’ related question, a vitally important one on a vitally important day, i.e. the day the election campaign was launched, you’d imagine he’d have been a bit more prepared…wouldn’t you?

  Next it was Alan Kelly’s turn to overshadow Maggie’s, sorry Queen Joanie’s, campaign when Labour was plunged into the spotlight regarding Minister Kelly’s alleged verbal attack on a radio presenter. Now while Mr Kelly is entitled to criticise, he should understand that as a member of a political party he needs to be a team player and that means deflecting rather than attracting negative publicity. And, er, sorry for being a pain, but wasn’t it only recently that Environment Minister Kelly was unable to provide figures regarding the amount of individuals who became homeless last year? 

  Next it was Mary Lou’s turn to make a big bazooka with her election leaflet literature quoting ‘Booby Sands,’ rather than ‘Bobby Sands.’ Seriously, does anyone sitting in the Oireachtas possess even foundation level Maths and English?

 Ah yes, welcome to The Starship Election Campaign 2016 folks; boldly going where no political parties, desperate to win power, have ever gone before; scornfully abusing the voters’ intelligence.

  Now I’m not trying to sway opinion at all and I’m not trying to promote one party over another, nor am I trying to denigrate one party in favour of another, this is NOT my intention. It’s up to everyone to vote for whomever they feel is best placed to lead this country –  (I’m thinking anyone with basic Maths/English) – and I can only imagine what kind of tripe and utter nonsense will be spewed forth over the next few weeks by other candidates.

   But, as I said, the response to questions regarding our so-called ‘rainy day fund’ is right there in the national meeja much in the same way as the minimum wage faux pas, the big Booby and the bizarre alleged verbal confrontation debacles are – and, on a personal level, I would expect the individual who has his/her sights set on becoming our next Chief to at least demonstrate the ability to answer vitally  important and pertinent questions when asked; and have the ability to proofread. 

  However, despite the fact the boys, and the girl can’t help it, I’m glad I’m not the one doing PR for any of them ‘cos I’d be editing that little gig out of my CV right now.

I hate to say it but I agree with Piers Morgan…this time!

Bless me Father for I have sinned; you see, I agree with Piers Morgan regarding the inappropriateness of actress Susan Sarandon’s risqué wardrobe choice for her presentation of the In Memoriam Tribute at the recent Screen Actors Guild (SAG) ceremony.

  Now it’s not her choice of the fabulous Max Mara cream suit that annoys me, ‘cos I’m lovin’ the suit, it’s what Susan wore, or rather didn’t wear underneath, i.e. a top, that I feel was slightly unbecoming.

  No, it’s the fact that this gorgeous woman, whom by the way at aged 69 looks eye-poppingly sexy, (and age has nothing to do with it BTW, because ladies, we can be sexy at any age) delivered a tribute to SAG members who had died during the past year whilst thrusting her boobs, clad only in a black bra, at the audience, which I think is perhaps a tad disrespectful. I mean, it’s kinda the funeral section of the show and maybe arriving in your lacy undies is not the way to show veneration, now is it?

  And while I feel utter shame at agreeing with a man who looks like he takes fashion advice from Crusty the Clown, I have to say Piers Morgan is right in this instance. While it’s fine to show a bit of cleavage, and I’m all for it – get those baps out and be proud – but, as the saying goes –  time and place Susan, time and place love.

A local tragedy

While I know no words of sympathy will go anywhere near towards consoling the grieving parents and family whose entire world has just been shattered forever by the death of their darling 5-year-old little boy last week, reportedly from contracting Swine Flu (H1N1 virus) and who lived in our neighbouring county of Leitrim, I would still like to say how utterly sorry I am, especially to his mam and dad, whose grief can never be measured; whose treasure chest of memories will forever be filled with the healthy, talented, cherished angel that he was.

  May this precious little man rest in peace and may your beautiful memories of your baby boy sustain you and keep you going to face another day.