Ronan shaaays it besht when he shaaays nothing at all!

We’re all familiar (and bored) with the barely out of short pants, toothy Ronan ‘grand, thank God’ Keating and Storm Uechtritz saga; he loooooves her, she loooooves him, yawn, bloody yawn!

Seriously, does this couple have a sickening smug fetish or what? However, it appears the public relations department have been working overtime at chez Keating lately, especially when, last weekend, the newly married man/boy appeared on The Jonathon Ross Show, and, oozing all sorts of dotey and ponsy PDAs, (that’s public displays of affection for those reading in black and white), he revealed he’d like to have a second family with wifey Smog…sorry Storm.

Now we all know the man/boy has three gorgeous kiddies with his former wife Yvonne, so, for me, it came across as a bit rude, ungracious and downright inconsiderate to hear him bleat on about how it would be “smashing” yes, he actually got all fizzed up as he used that lil’-ol’ -man-kind-to-animals-and-old-ladies term to describe the anticipation of starting a ‘new’ family which I felt was a massive smack in the face to his ‘old’ family.

Not to mention the fact he is reported to have said he ‘got the four of us’ (3 kids and then fiancée Storm) together and we said, “Storm will you marry us?” Seriously??? Quick, pass the sick bucket!

I mean, how inconsiderate is that to his former wife and mother of his kids? Now don’t get me wrong; I like RoRo, I really do. I’ve interviewed him many times when I worked for The Evening Herald and RTE and he has always been extremely respectful and accommodating to me, even offering me an exclusive interview with him one evening, despite the fact I’d mercilessly slagged off the abysmally poor sales of one of his former solo attempts using the headline ‘when you sell nothing at all.’ Ouch!

So it’s fair to say, he’s got good manners; he’s genuinely a nice man…so how come those positive attributes seem to have totally deserted him when it comes to publicly discussing his desire to start a new family?

You see folks, seeing your parents split up can be devastating; believe me I know that from my own heartbreaking experience. I was the one who ended my first marriage and it still devastates me that I had to take such drastic action; so I can only imagine what it’s like for the kids in those relationships, especially ones that are in the public eye, even if those kids are adults.

However, if one of your parents then decides to make public their plans to start a new family with a new partner, probably even becoming more hands-on than he/she did with you, (because, through no fault of their own, their job took them abroad, or forced them to spend long hours at the office, etc.,), well now, that can probably prove soul destroying.

Furthermore, when I read an article where RoRo gushes “I’m happier than I’ve ever been,” and “Storm makes me feel secure. It’s very refreshing,” I felt nauseous.

And I pride myself on having a strong stomach. I mean, I’m probably the only one in Ireland whose stomach contents didn’t evacuate all over the sofa when the delusional gits who made up Boyzone, one of our country’s first manufactured boy bands, debuted on live TV assaulting our retinas with their embarrassing dance moves back in the 90s.

But look, in light of the fact RoRo is a nice man/boy, I’ve decided to come to the conclusion that it’s not disrespect, rather he’s just currently on a high with the release of his tenth album Time of my Life (BTW it only sold 203 copies here in the first week) and his desperate and continuous attempts to forge an acting career; and while I’m sorry to be the one to say it, RoRo, there is not one shred of evidence to support the fact you can actually act, we need to cut you some slack love.

You see, this is how it will probably play out for pop’s latest loved up duo… Ro/Ro and Storm will spend their fifteen minutes of fame hiding behind a confusing mishmash of vapid and banal funk, PR hype, over rated balladry (him) and big hair (her) while former wife Yvonne stays schtum and carves out a brilliant new career by ‘taking on new projects.’

In the meantime, a bit of advice to Ro/Ro, to use the words of one of your songs…you shaaay it besht, when you shaaay nothing at all pet.

Was Caroline told to ‘Flack Off?’

Now if I were Dermot ‘Troll’ Leary I’d be smirking, smiling and busting my gut laughing, because she who was reported to be doing the horizontal mambo with her big-assed, blunderer of a co-presenter Olly Murs has allegedly been dumped from next year’s X Factor line-up.

Yes it appears, following a negative response from viewers, Caroline may have been told to ‘flack off,’ by Queen Cowell.

Ah never mind love, while Simon says ‘au revoir’ we all know what we’ll be saying to this smart cookie in six months’ time when work in this viciously cut throat industry begins to dry up…”I’ll have three singles and a fresh cod please.” Meow!

Now I Ain’t Saying he’s a Gold Digger!

Kritically Unacclaimed and Kompulsive Tweeter Kanye West has taken a mini-break from social media ranting; and while silence may be golden, for the, ahem, gold digger, I swear I can hear this dull, delusional little rapper dude’s solitary brain cell dying.

Personally I was getting bored of him bemoan how he’s experiencing a personal debt to the tune of $53 million, even embarrassingly requesting that Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg give him $1 billion to bail him out! Well colour me purple, call me Barney and correct me if I’m wrong but isn’t this the same waste of two billion years in evolution, who regularly adorns himself and his pampered wife in expensive fur coats?

My suggestion for shaving a few dollars off the family expenses Kanye would be to stop dressing yourself and the missus in the skins of innocent, murdered animals and slip into something more comfortable instead…like a coma!