Please don’t mention the ‘R’ word! Eh…RTE, Ryan, Renault?

A nightmare weekend!

Why so?

As you know, I keep notes for our work every week…

Pity the RTE management didn’t do the same…

So yes, I jot down the week’s key topics ahead of publication every week…

Ah, jot down! How gloriously quaint. Do you send our column in by carrier pigeon, or have you advanced to email yet?

Huh! Point is, I am meticulous! I jot down notes!

(Editor: Give me a break! A proper Woodward and Bernstein I’m dealing with here!)

And, as I look at my weekend notes, all I can see is a gigantic ‘R’ on my notepad! A big R – followed by about ten exclamation marks!

So a big R sums up last weekend for you?


I have it! Rebellion – of sorts – in Russia?


Ah, of course, the big ‘R’ is for the Rossies! Don’t worry, we’ll be back!


That big R! I presume you mean Roscommon’s heartbreaking exit from the All-Ireland race?

NO! The big R is for the RTE scandal. It also stands for Ryan!

(Editor nervously begins to pay attention)

So, Ryan was paid at least €440,000 a year, often much more!

Well, that’s what was published…

But he got a secret extra annual payment of €75k a few times…

Yes, Renault paid the €75k one year; then they withdrew from the agreement, and RTE paid it!


Point is, there were secret payments. Trust is broken. Heads must roll!

(Editor: Enough, guys! I can’t afford any legal attention!)

Thank God for the GAA!

Yeah, but such a shame our lads were pipped at the post by Cork!

A strange game! We dominated the first half hour, missed a goal in both halves, finished brilliantly, but just got done at the end!

So close to the quarter-finals…

Hard luck to our lads, and thanks for everything this season!

Agreed! And a big shout out to all our Rossie readers in Ballaghaderreen following Mayo’s win over Galway!

(They pause to watch Elton John at Glastonbury)

By the way, I met the Editor out walking this morning…


Yeah! Just by chance.

Don’t tell me ye got talking about our contract talks again… without me!

ACTUALLY… he muttered something about ringing Renault this week.

Wow! Is he finally looking into company cars for us? Or a deal with Renault on personal appearances by us? Let me check my diary!

No, he said from now on either Renault or some other company is going to have to cover our fee – or else we’re goners!