FRIDAY
All bets are off…
According to the message pinging into my phone, my ‘€549 transaction to Paddy Power’ has been paused. Yawn. I don’t reply to suspicious messages/phisting. Besides, I don’t bet. But I would bet €549 that this is an attempted scam that’s going nowhere…
SATURDAY
Up for Up for the Match?
I suppose it took great courage on my part – some might say foolhardiness too – but I will openly admit that I tuned into ‘Up for the Match’ for the first time in years tonight. I don’t know what came over me; it was obviously a moment of great weakness.
If I was to do it again, I would of course engage in months of preparation for the trauma (is that too strong a word?) of watching ‘Up for the Match’ – in the same way that one wouldn’t take on the Dublin Marathon without doing some extensive road running over the previous months.
Ah yes, if I was doing it again, I’d have binge-watched episodes of ‘The 2 Johnnies Late Night Lock In’ – I believe copies can be obtained from shady looking characters under the cover of darkness.
As it was, ‘Up for the Match’ actually wasn’t quite as cringey as I’d remembered it. Staging the programme high up in Croke Park (as opposed to in an RTE studio) sort of worked. And there were a few nice segments featuring ‘unsung heroes’ – that also worked.
These initiatives weren’t quite strong enough to overcome the general tedium for neutral viewers. As ever, there were bland, cliché-heavy, folksy chats with guests, tiresome hollering from audience members who must be desperate to be seen on TV, and a bit of live music.
It was all gamely hosted by Dáithí Ó Sé and Jacqui Hurley (assisted by Louise Cantillon), none of whom took themselves too seriously. As far as I’m aware, the mandatory number of references to ‘Coppers’ were made!
SUNDAY
What Mayo did next
A thrilling All-Ireland football final ends in a historic victory for Mayo… amid extraordinarily emotional scenes. My match report is in our sports section.
Below, my musings on what it must all mean to ‘Mayo GAA Man/Woman’ – as represented by four men we encountered in a pub in Foxford recently.
Congratulations to Mayo, and to all Mayo-ites in Roscommon!
SUNDAY
Four men at the bar
One of the four men sitting at the bar counter said he was 70 years of age. He said that when we finally got talking, time by then passing slowly in that hypnotic way it does in rural pubs where old photographs and framed, witty sayings adorn the walls.
We had gone into the bar in Foxford on the afternoon of the Kerry v Dublin All-Ireland semi-final (Mayo having beaten Louth the previous day).
The four hardy men at the counter were cheerful and relaxed, but they couldn’t hide what appeared to be the reality… that they were merely waiting to see who would conquer their not quite oven-ready young guns.
After a while (as I wrote here recently) the four Mayo men turned almost in unison and proceeded to engage us in conversation. It was a quiet Sunday afternoon. Soon, a beautiful friendship was born, rather like in that closing scene in Casablanca.
We chatted GAA, sprinkling snippets of mutual football knowledge around. The Mayo men veered from fearing Kerry would hammer them in the final,
to occasionally allowing the faintest slice of fantasy to slip into the rolling narrative.
When we left, we shook hands, and wished Mayo well in the final. These were decent men. No longer young men. Like every Mayo person of his age on the planet, the man who told us he was 70 had reached three score and ten without seeing his county win Sam. He had a twinkle in his eye, a ready quip, and the hands of a hard-working man. He didn’t hold out that much hope. People of a certain age in Mayo have encountered so much heartbreak over the years, their capacity to dream has been weakened. 70 is very far from old these days, but this man had been to the ‘well of hope’ and come back empty-handed too many times. It felt like he couldn’t afford to keep dreaming.
As long as we don’t get hammered (by Kerry) it won’t be too bad, one of the men said… this comment a sobering symbol of what decades of crushed dreams can do. And yet, in their eyes, you could still see seeds of hope.
Outside the pub, a funeral was passing. Locals stood in respect for the deceased. The men at the bar dispersed, into the sunny afternoon, into the embrace of their community. Two weeks later, their lifetime dreams came true. I’d like to call back to Foxford, to see those men now. After a lifetime of sporting disappointment by instalments, their lives have changed. Life’s problems haven’t gone away, but like all their fellow long-suffering county folk, the hardy men at the bar counter have been granted the priceless prize that generations have craved.
MONDAY
Stars remembered
Northern Ireland has produced its share of accomplished presenters/broadcasters over the years… including Gloria Hunniford, Eamonn Holmes (less likeable after he rather shamelessly became his own biggest fan!) and the late Gerry Anderson.
One of the best was Gerry Kelly. I was sorry to hear of his passing, announced on Sunday (he died on Saturday, aged 77).
Kelly had a great career on TV and radio. Twinkly-eyed, genial, charming, he was a natural as a chat show host. While he interviewed many famous people, Kelly will probably be remembered most (in the nature of such matters) for his interaction with eight-year-old Rory McIlroy when the future golf superstar appeared on his show. As you can see on YouTube, the boy wonder proceeded to hit golf balls into a washing machine!
Meanwhile, the death was announced today of Bill Oddie. Readers of a certain vintage may remember him as one of The Goodies, a very popular comedy
trio from the 1970s. As a fan of surreal humour (Spike Milligan, Monty Python, etc) I liked the daft, anarchic comedy of The Goodies.
Oddie left the comedy scene a long, long time ago, going on to become something of a national treasure in England as a popular and respected naturalist and conservationist who presented various wildlife programmes. Bill Oddie died on Saturday, aged 85.
TUESDAY
Elon wants more!
Allegedly overheard in high-level business circles (we can’t confirm if it’s true or not).
“I hear Elon Musk is considering selling up all his companies…”
“Really? To have a quieter life? Has he lost his motivation to make money?”
“Far from it! He’s as money-hungry as ever… apparently he’s hoping to get a job – and commission – looking after future royalties for The Saw Doctors!”
*It’s another Mayo reference; normal service will resume next week.
