The complex trauma of child abuse, whether it’s emotional neglect, physical abuse or sexual abuse, or indeed maltreatment in any form, can cast a horrific and suppressing shadow over a survivor’s very existence – often leaving some ill-equipped to deal with certain aspects of adult life.
And, while not all survivors experience adverse outcomes, with many going on to lead perfectly happy lives and to form fulfilling and significant relationships, believe me readers when I tell you that nothing, absolutely nothing, can wound a child or an adult more than being violated by a person they know, love and trust with all of their hearts.
Last week, a whopping 350 footballers in the UK came forward with claims of historical sexual abuse, rendering police the length and breadth of the country to be inundated with reports, many dating back decades, with allegations being made against various individuals at various levels of the game. I have to say I admire those men for their candour and for their bravery in speaking out and lifting the so-called taboo on openly talking about sexual abuse. Thankfully, they are the reason more will speak out.
However, darts legend and judgemental dope, Eric Bristow MBE – and macho halfwits like him – are the reason why some will, sadly, remain silent and abusers will walk away; their vile acts blighting the lives of their victims, devastating them for the rest of their days.
Upon hearing the news of the claims, Bristow somehow ignorantly thought it was okay to embark on an ill-advised tweeting binge, posting ‘Dart players tough guys footballers wimps,’ clearly inflicting even more damage and anguish on these brave individuals; children when the alleged abuse occurred; now grown men, husbands, partners and fathers.
Okay, the cockney rebel Grinch has now apologised for labelling those who came forward as ‘wimps,’ however he incredibly upheld and defended his comments by comparing himself to Donald Trump, using the whiney just being “straightforward” defence, releasing a statement saying his “wording was wrong and offended many people.” Understatement of the year!
Well, in the interest of being ‘straightforward’, I’d like to say that ignorant, outdated, shameful cretins like ‘Crafty Cockney’ Bristow, a one-time ‘national treasure’, have no place in a progressive society, and, while people are entitled to their opinion, sharing such damaging and hurtful judgemental perspectives on a public forum should be seriously curtailed. And, for the sake of balance, ‘cos I like to be fair, while I know we could excuse Bristow as being a product of his time, I refuse to excuse his pugnacious remarks and I’m glad he lost his position as a darts pundit with Sky.
In the meantime, back home on our own shores, in what I would deem to be a very pressing child protection concern, Gardaí and child and family agency Tusla are investigating claims of a very serious nature at a prestigious co-education, private boarding school in Dublin; a school I know quite well, where it is alleged a 13-year-old boy was sexually assaulted by up to eight other students. I applaud this young man’s incredible courage in speaking out immediately and making the complaint and I hope to God the proper authorities get to the bottom of this horrendous alleged incident as a matter of urgency. I also sincerely hope that the media in general continue to handle the accusations and the outcome, as it unfolds, with a degree of dignity, and keep in mind that there are children and families at the heart of this horrific and disturbing development.
For anyone affected by sexual abuse, please don’t suffer in silence; please seek support on www.rapecrisishelp.ie or you can call their 24 Hour Helpline on PH: 1800 778888. Or for a more local centre, The Athlone Midlands Rape Crisis Centre can be contacted at www.amrcc.ie or their helpline is PH: 1800 306 600. Opening hours are Mon to Fri – 10 am to 1 pm. I would also urge those affected to contact their local Garda Station.
This Old House…
I see wrinkly rocker Rod Stewart is having a few problems off-loading his £7 million Essex mansion, right, even dropping the asking price by £500,000; but seriously folks, having seen pictures in last week’s Daily Mail, I can say with confidence that this mansion’s interior is possibly the home that tasteful décor forgot. I mean, with such attractions as monogrammed cushions and garish ceiling murals, the fabulous Sistine Chapel, the very cornerstone of Renaissance art, must surely be beside itself…not!
I’m sure poor Rod had lofty aspirations when he modelled his home on what looks like Mrs. Doubtfire’s outdated style, but from a sophisticated prospective buyer’s point of view, the country pile with the flamboyant interior is probably proving to be more than just a misstep, it’s comically poor, and, dare I suggest…tacky, and, could possibly be voted the ultimate interior design fail of 2016.
Well done to Jen!
There are many things one should never do following a relationship break-up, and, in my opinion, morphing into a mid-life crisis cliché and stumbling into hell’s waiting room by hooking up with your ex has got to be top of that list. It’s also clearly Jennifer Aniston’s, above, opinion too, ‘cos the actress reportedly declined a dinner invitation from former hubby Brad Pitt when they were both visiting London recently – and I admire her for her integrity.
Look, in an ideal world, consenting adults who used to be in a relationship/married should be able to meet up and have an innocent coffee or dinner…but the cold harsh reality is once that particular plaster has been painfully, gut-wrenchingly ripped off and you’ve moved on and remarried, as Ms. Anniston has, you don’t want to open up that ugly, old wound. And, even if that ex happens to be the attractive in a minimalist sort of way, Brad Pitt, remember you left that particular union for what it wasn’t, and not for what it was!
