(Editor: I thought I told you guys… ‘wow’ and ‘huh’ are banned from this so-called column!)
I was just saying…
Yer man did some sweating at the weekend!
Hu… I mean wha’?
Did you not see yer man, sweating like mad on the telly?
Was it the South African coach against England in the final minutes?
NO! It was JCVD!
Surely you mean ACDC? Had they a concert? Love them!
NO! JCVD – Jean Claude Van Damme – the Belgian actor was on the Late Late Show! And social media was ablaze with reaction to him, mainly ‘cos he was really sweating!
Why was he sweating so much?
I dunno… maybe he thought the 2 Johnnies were going to come on at any moment – again!
(They pause to watch a recording – for vague journalistic purposes – of the 2 Johnnies’ new show, and emerge from a ‘safe room’ visibly shaking)
So, how was your weekend, my friend?
I’m sorry we didn’t get to have a pint, but we can meet up for the big game at the weekend!
Absolutely! Who are you tipping? New Zealand or South Africa?
Actually, I meant Éire Óg v Castlerea in the Intermediate final! It will be a cracker, and it’s in the Hyde on Sunday!
Oh yes! We’ll go to that, and we’ll have a pint after it! Speaking of county finals, did you get to St Brigid’s v Boyle? As you know, I was away for the weekend!
Yes, I was in the Hyde. It was a tense, tight game. St Brigid’s looked to have the title in their grasp, only for Boyle to make a great late burst. It looked odds-on for extra-time, but our friends in Kiltoom held on!
A great club, congrats to all there!
I must say Boyle were in hard luck. They executed their game plan brilliantly. They prevented Brigid’s from goaling, stayed in touch, and were so close to drawing level.
A heartbreaker for Boyle…
Indeed… but their day will come.
Well, all credit to Boyle, they must have had St Brigid’s feeling like the ‘talent’ on the Late Late…
Huh? I mean, wha’?
Boyle must have had Brigid’s feeling a bit like Jean Claude Van Damme!
Oh yeah, like an unstoppable force?
Actually, I meant… sweating a bit more than they normally would!