It’s quite simple! We’ll organise an anti-protest march protest march!

All I said in the pub the other night was… there are too many protests these days!

Oh, that conversation! You wouldn’t let it go!

I said everyone has a right to protest, but that there are far too many of them!

Yeah, well, people disagreed with you!

I’m used to that!


(They pause to see if Cillian Murphy has won any more awards since Sunday night; he hasn’t, at least not at time of going to press)


I blame the French!


Oh, I see what you did there… I blame the French for this culture of street protests!

I must admit they get very worked up once or twice a year. Odd thing is, they’re very easy-going most of the year! Any time I was in rural France, I hardly ever saw anyone!

Yeah, that’s ‘cos they’re inside their er, maisons, plotting protests!


(They pause to check if there is any new RTE financial scandal since morning)


It’s over the top…


These street protests! People are out at every opportunity… we live in an age of never-ending protests!

It’s people power! Holding governments to account!

Well it’s gone too far! Protests on the streets and online. Twitter pile-ons. Why can’t people just… relax?!

YOU need to relax… about this!

On the contrary, I’ve had a novel and clever idea…

Now that IS novel! You having a clever idea!

Hear me out! I think we should organise an anti-protest march…protest march! We’ll hold it in Roscommon Town. It could get national publicity! Now where are my RTE contacts…



It’s quite a mouthful!

All who are fed up with our angry, reactive society, and with the increase in protest marches, are invited to the Square!

So this is… a protest march… against protest marches?



(They pause to post an invite on Facebook, having quickly decided to hold the march at lunchtime on Thursday)


Lunchtime on Thursday


Hello, pal…

Ha! Not a single person turned up! Bigger fool me to go along with your silly idea…

My friend, I will remind you this was an anti-protest march protest! The fact that nobody turned up means it was a HUGE SUCCESS! It’s called being ironic… I think!

Oh dear…

Oh dear, nothing! I have drawn attention to this matter in a very clever way! Augurs well for my political career! Now, I’m pretty sure I saw an RTE van coming up Main Street… I have some great soundbites ready for them….