‘I see Donald Trump was trumped… and why aren’t you on the ballot paper?’

I see Donald Trump was trumped…


He’s a disgrace!

Well, millions of people support him…

A rogue, who cares not a whit for the rule of law!

Nah, Donald’s just an eccentric guy…

He’s a scoundrel!

It’s just that we’ve never seen a public figure quite like ‘The Donald’ before… the jury’s still out on him…

That’s the point! The jury’s NOT still out! The jury’s back! And they found Donald Trump guilty! On all 34 charges! He’s going down! You’ll never hear from that guy again!

I think not! It hasn’t affected his poll ratings! You do realise he’s running for President again, in November?

From a prison cell? How’s that gonna work?

He probably won’t be going to prison. More like a fine! Anyways, he’s appealing…

Appealing? Donald Trump’s certainly not appealing to me!


(They pause to update their files of all election leaflets received through their respective letter boxes, keeping them in alphabetical order)


Less than 24 hours to the election, and I can’t believe you’re not on the ballot paper… after all your talk over the years!

Did you expect me to run in the local elections or for the European Parliament?

It’s irrelevant now! You weren’t brave enough!

Not true! In the end, I just didn’t fancy all the travelling…

I know, Strasbourg, Brussels…

No, I meant if I ran in the local election! I wasn’t keen on travelling to public meetings and launches and funerals the full length of the Roscommon Municipal District!

Huh! Some would-be politician you turned out to be!

Thank you! Actually, I did consider running in the European Elections, but that field is so big, I decided against it in the end!

I know! If people vote 1 to 27, there’ll be queues out the door!

I’ve decided to bide my time.

All hail the great procrastinator!

Let’s be serious for a moment…


(Editor: ‘If only…’)



Point is, you and I need to plan our move…

OUR move?

If we’re going to set up a new political party, we need structures in place. Candidates. Finance. PR.


Oh yeah, maybe develop policy too. Then we strike… when the time is right!

We’ve missed the boat! The elections are this Friday!

But there’s a bigger one coming up! The General Election! That could be the one for us! We could rock the system!


After all, we’re very popular on this page!

Are we?

Of course we are!

I dunno… whatever about Trump… the jury’s still out on that one!