He wants us to solve readers’ problems…starting with stacking the dishwater!

He’s playing with our minds now… an agony aunt column! Imagine!

Worries me too…

Yeah, I definitely think he’s toying with the idea of finally dropping us!

What happened?

Like I said, I just happened to bump into the Editor. We were both out for a walk. At first I didn’t recognise him…

Huh?

He had a cap on, like yer man in Peaky Blinders…

SERIOUSLY?

Yeah! He’s just back from a trip to Liverpool apparently!

Okay…

So he’s walking down the street, has this ‘Peaky Blinders’ cap on, then when he sees me coming, he tilts it downwards. Trying to avoid me!

Oh I doubt it!

No, honestly! Well, that’s how it felt…

But he DID greet you?

Not really! Like I said, he bumped into me! Literally! That cap was lowered so much, he couldn’t see where he was going!

And the agony aunt column? Or should I say ‘agony uncle(s)’?

Well, I summoned up the courage to make some small talk about our column…

Brilliant!

‘Page 2 going well?’ I muttered.

And?

He started staring in the window of Finn’s shop!

Really?

Fixated on a toaster, he was! Or pretending to be! Finally, he says, ‘Page 2’s going okay, but we need to freshen it up…’

AND?

I looked at him…

Straight in the eye?

Well, he still had the cap lowered at that ridiculous angle…

Okay!

Next thing he says ‘I dunno, maybe we could experiment with you guys solving readers’ problems once a month…’

Wow!

 

(They pause to check if any trampolines have entered their respective gardens)

 

Later, I get an email from him. Claims it’s a sample of the type of post he receives. Reader: ‘Dear Editor, my husband is driving me crazy. It’s bad enough that he puts the dishes into the dishwater in a haphazard way, but now he’s started to place the bananas in the fruit bowl at erratic angles. How should I handle this?’

Okay…

So the Editor has a cover note… he says, ‘So boyo, how would you respond to her, if your column was turned into a problem-solving page?’

AND?

I wrote back. ‘Dear Mary of Strokestown…’

Huh?

Not her real name…

Okay…

‘Dear Mary of Strokestown. I would immediately commence divorce proceedings…’

Wha’?

…. ‘either that, or cease buying bananas’.

Wha’?

Bit of humour! I thought the Editor would like it if we responded to readers’ problems with funny replies!

So how did the Editor reply to YOU?

Oh he hasn’t yet, I expect he’s busy. Or maybe the storms affected his Wi-Fi…

Oh dear, we’re doomed!