Getting lost on the way to Omagh…and planning a trip to Malmo!

What a nightmare!


That journey to Omagh!

You still on about that?


Well, I’m sorry, but I’m no expert with a sat nav!

No expert? You’re a complete novice! First off, it took you ten minutes – ten very stubborn minutes – to even get ‘Healy Park’ keyed in!

Well, I was nervous about typing in ‘Healy’… I tried to explain that to you!

WHAT? I wasn’t listening!

I don’t trust technology! I thought if I typed in ‘Healy’ it might link us up to the Editor’s phone, and he’d hear our entire conversation… all the way to Tyrone!

That makes no sense!

Not true! Even I know that if you just utter a word now, details to do with it will immediately pop up on your nearest device!

Oh dear!


(They pause to check if Cillian Murphy has been nominated for any more awards in the past 24 hours)


Anyways, you should have just let me get the directions off my phone, but you were too stubborn!

Relax! These GAA away days, they’re meant to be enjoyed!

Not with you taking us all around the country… in the wrong direction! At this rate, I can’t travel to any more Roscommon matches with you!

I’ll get us to the Hyde without any hassle!

After you finally put ‘Omagh’ in, you started fiddling with the radio, next thing the sat nav lady stopped talking to us!

It’s not the first time a lady stopped talking to you! Anyways, I wanted to hear Des Cahill…

Well I suppose we finally got there, after the lady told you to recalculate a few times!


(They pause to double-check their lotto numbers, after hearing a €14m jackpot has been won)


Anyways… any news?

There’s always news! Jurgen Klopp is stepping out, Donald Trump is trying to step back in, and the whole country is watching Dermot Bannon!

And what do you think of Doomsday…

I won’t hear it! We can beat Galway! I have faith!


You’re calling next Sunday Doomsday…

No! What do you think of Doomsday Blue…


Ireland’s Eurovision entry! As sung by Bambie Thug! It’s our big Eurovision hope! What do you think?

I haven’t heard it yet! Problem is, I don’t think we’ll ever win the Eurovision again!

Oh think positive! Actually, we should go!


I’ve always wanted to go to Malmo, let’s look into it!


Yeah, we could hire a car…

Great idea! I’ve friends in Norway, we could visit them! I suppose we’d, er, need a good sat na…