Get me to the church on time!



If you’re a punctually challenged individual, i.e. are never on time for an appointment, it’s likely you’ll be one of those brides who’ll arrive ‘fashionably’ late at their wedding venue. Now, while you may think this is traditional, and indeed  a kind of cute way to keep your groom on tenterhooks…worrying ‘will she, won’t she’ turn up; to be honest, many, including your guests will possibly think it’s quite tardy and disrespectful. Perhaps that’s why a vicar in the UK is now reduced to offering brides a little £100 cash bonus incentive (€113) if they turn up on time.

  Now while it could be construed as being a bit of a disgrace that someone, i.e. a fully functioning and intelligent adult, has to be paid to show some basic manners, and those who need to be incentivised to turn up on time to celebrate what is one of the most important days of their lives should be ashamed of themselves; I think this vicar’s ploy could prove to be a wedding day winner.

  You see, quite simply, there are many reasons why a bride (or groom) should get themselves to the church/venue on time…here are just a few.

When you’re late you’re not just letting your beloved panic and sweat, agonising if you’ve now got cold feet, you’re also delaying the wedding singer, the organist, the celebrant, the altar servers, the wedding planner (if you’re lucky enough to have one), the coach and car drivers, and of course your guests, some of whom may have already travelled for hours, at considerable expense, to help you celebrate this happy day.

  In addition, if you’re being married at a venue where multiple weddings take place, say a registry office, you’re shockingly delaying and disrupting other couples who’re waiting in line to tie the knot and that’s just contemptible because you’re ruining their big day.

  Now of course there may be several reasons why you’re late for your own wedding; I mean you could have suffered a disastrous wardrobe malfunction or your dad could have accidentally dropped his false teeth down the loo and a quick call to an emergency plumber is required. Your wedding car driver could have taken a wrong turn up a one-way street leading you into rush hour traffic; or your flower girl may have developed a sick tummy, etc., etc., etc. All innocent, all forgivable, and possibly all unavoidable.

  So remember brides and grooms, if you’re getting married this year, we wish you every happiness possible. However, if you’re planning to choose to turn up late for the ceremony, we wish you every bit of luck possible because being a tardy, sloppy time-keeper could mean you’re sending out some pretty prickly signals that you’re going to be an  inconsiderate, awkward, rude and disrespectful life partner who places their own needs above respecting the needs of others…and that’s  something that could seriously and negatively impact  your future relationship with your husband/wife and with those closest to both of you.