Follow the cops back home

And we have finally waited till the summer. Although one cannot see it through the window, my favourite season is just round the corner. Rumour has it that in Poland people are suffering from unbearable heat. Probably many of you will learn it the hard way. Regardless of many tempting Spanish-Portuguese offers, many compatriots decide to visit Poland during their holidays. What exactly is there that attracts us so much? Hmm, this may sound trivial, but it occurs to me, that there comes a time to replenish the cigarette stock, the pork chops in the refrigerator are also running out and maybe there is a kind of longing for this heat. It’s time to prepare for the journey. First, a visit to a local souvenir shop, to buy another present for mother. Then a small good-bye party for friends needs to be thrown (usually a barbecue with a lot of beers). The following day, with quite a hangover we find ourselves at the airport. And here we go! Believe me, I have seen it many times. Nervous atmosphere at the customs – will this bag be too heavy or not? Unfortunately, it hardly ever depends on the provisions, it’s more a question of pot luck. Once I had a bag, which was allegedly, one kilo too heavy and I had to pay extra. Some other time my luggage weighed 15 kilos above the fixed admissible standard and nothing… it was labelled ‘heavy’ and it went through. After that these unfortunate gates! Taking off gold chains, belts, shoes … my acquaintance had even screamed to her fiancée, who was flying: ‘Zenek! Take everything off! Take off your shirt! Take the trousers as well! What a nightmare. Then you only have to get on the plane. And here the rat race begins! Once I was flying with an airline which had no allocated seats. When, together with other passengers, we were going through the apron, suddenly everyone started to behave as if they were struck by lightening. All of a sudden they started to push off and run! Gosh! I thought that maybe they had sold more tickets than they should. Maybe they had fewer seats… So I was running as well, since I didn’t want to travel in the luggage hatch. In Poland time passes quicker than anywhere else. Shopping, dentist, gynaecologist, the same story heard a hundred times … and less and less energy left… Before we know it always the same old story. It’s time to go back! The local souvenir stall (it’s usually off-licence, where we buy ‘Zubrówka’, a Polish Vodka with a typical herbal flavour made from a bison grass tree growing in Bia?owie?a Forest), because we need a present for the boss and colleagues from work. A good-bye party in a Polish pub filled with smoke. At the airport we usually take the sausage out of the hand luggage and then we put it again into the main luggage. And then a run to the duty-free zone. Exhausted after this holiday, looking through the window at the Irish rain we nag that it has been the last time, that the next year it will probably be a Spain or something… Ha, I know it almost ‘by heart’. I have been thinking about it so many times and I still don’t know why this year I have decided to visit Poland again. It is probably some sort of our patriotic masochism. Follow the cops back home! No i ju? prawie doczekali?my si? lata. Tak, tak dobrze widzicie napisa?am: lata. Chod? za oknem tego nie wida? moja ulubiona pora roku jest ju? tu?, tu?. Dochodz? mnie s?uchy, ?e w Polsce panuj? niezno?ne upa?y. Pewnie niejedno z was przekona si? o tym na w?asnej skórze. Wielu rodaków, bowiem pomimo kusz?cych hiszpa?sko-portugalskich ofert wybiera na wakacje Polsk?! Co tam w?a?ciwie jest takiego, ?e nas tak ci?gnie? Hm mo?e to banalne, ale nasuwa mi si? my?l, ?e przychodzi czas na uzupe?nienie papierosków, schabik w zamra?alce si? ko?czy i chyba jako? tak t?skno za upa?em.   No, wi?c czas przygotowa? si? do wyjazdu. Najpierw odwiedzamy lokalny sklepik z pami?tkami, by zakupi? dla mamy kolejny kubeczek z owieczk?. Nast?pnie trzeba wyda? ma?e po?egnalne przyj?cie dla znajomych (grill syto zakrapiany browarkiem). I na drugi dzie? z niema?ym kacem znajdujemy si? na lotnisku. I si? zaczyna! Wierzcie mi widzia?am to nie raz! Nerwówka przy odprawie- przejdzie ta nazbyt ci??ka torba, czy nie przejdzie? Niestety wcale to nie zale?y od przepisów tylko raczej od naszego szcz??cia. Raz mia?am kilogram za du?o i musia?am zap?aci?, innym razem mój baga? wa?y? 15 kilogramów ponad ustalon? dopuszczaln? norm? i nic