Divorce is never easy, but it can be dignified rather than destructive

When a couple breaks up, they can choose to do one of two things. 1): Dismantle their relationship in a dignified and private manner, putting in place a positive plan for separation, childcare and divorce. Or 2): Do what Kim Kardashian and Kanye West, and Ioan Gruffudd and Alice Evans are doing, which is, allowing their private matters to become so public, the situation quickly proliferates from embarrassing to highly distressing.

  Unless you’ve been living under a rock readers, you’ll be aware of  a situation which I can only describe as being the poisonous, damaging uncoupling of the Kardashian-Wests and the Gruffudd-Evans’, who, for reasons best known to themselves, are indiscreetly allowing their personal grievances to be played out on social media.

  As someone who heartbreakingly had to walk away from my first marriage, with the break-up resulting in an acrimonious divorce, I can say, hand on heart, even though our children were both adults at the time, my ex and I had an agreement to never involve them in our bitter battles.

  Don’t get me wrong, it’s not my intention to pass judgement on either of these troubled couples; I know only too well the pain they’re going through. However, as a parent, I have to say, given the ridiculous carry-on and the, (let’s be honest), level of hatred evident in their posts, I’m more worried about any possible damage being done to their respective children’s mental wellbeing.

  For those of you lucky enough never to have gone through an expensive, messy divorce, let me tell you, even in consensual circumstances, an event like this can be deeply disturbing for any child, especially ones whose parents post every intimate, indelicate and vulgar thought they have for the other on social media!

  When your hostility towards the person you once loved enough to have a family with, not only trends on Twitter etc., but makes world headlines, (even getting framed as entertainment), the time has come to step away from the keyboard and seek help, because you’re hitting rock bottom!

  In addition, (given their posts, I’m aiming this at Kanye and Alice), not only is the coverage and attention being generated by your rants likely to upset your own wellbeing, but the fact they’ve become comedic fodder could serve to perpetuate a stigma for anyone genuinely experiencing mental health issues.

  I’m going to play Devil’s advocate here and suggest that perhaps the reason for Kanye’s (or Ye’s) and Alice’s posts aren’t rooted in the fact they’re genuinely hurting; perhaps it’s just plain and simple jealousy on their part?

  Let me spell it out for you. If Kim’s new boyfriend Pete Davidson is 13 years younger than her (well here’s to you and coo, coo, ca-choo Mrs Robinson), and Ioan’s girlfriend Bianca Wallace is 19 years younger than him, (is he dating her or adopting her???), then nobody could blame Kanye and Alice for going green with envy!

  As a woman on the verge of hitting the HRT, I can tell you folks, if himself suddenly began dating a sprite, the pair of them would need to leave town fast; because, hand on heart, my personal reaction would be akin to pulling a pin on a live grenade.

  With regard to Kanye and Alice, my advice would be to please try and come to terms with life without your former spouses. Why? Because, they’ve clearly come to terms with life without you. Besides Kanye, when Pete’s no longer your ex-wife’s cute toy-boy and more the wind beneath her bingo wings, I’m willing to bet their lust-affair will get a touch of the Titanic’s and, er sink!

  By the way, that does not mean older women shouldn’t date younger men; I’m all for cougar-ism and believe there’s no such thing as the ‘conventional’ couple. However, as Pete and Kim are not living in a Disney movie, I doubt if their love is sealed for eternity, but rather for a few more Insta-worthy photo ops!

  As for Alice…the time may come when Bianca could realise she’s no longer viewed as the seductive nymph, but rather the ‘other woman’ shackled to the crumbling edifice that was once your cheating ex; and give him the elbow! When that day arrives, I hope she arms the father of your children – the man you once loved and honoured – with a handful of berries, a compass, a back-pack, and a set of instructions to clear off and locate his lost youth! By that time Alice darling, you’ll have moved so far past your shock and your sadness, you’ll be strong enough, tough enough and so deliriously happy living the life you deserve, the man who betrayed you so horribly won’t even warrant a second thought!

Why I’ll continue to wear my mask!

Regulations relating to mask-wearing in public and other restrictions around Covid will no longer apply after February 28th, which is next Monday. Not only that, as the National Public Health Emergency Team (NPHET) is on the cusp of being abandoned, it would probably be safe for us all to assume that Ireland is now well and truly on the other side of this pandemic, and life, as we knew it, can return to normal. Fantastic news!

  However, given there are still plenty of Covid cases present in our hospitals, (making mask-wearing a requirement in a healthcare setting), it’s plainly obvious that the opposite is true and this pervasive virus still looms large in all of our lives.

  To that end, I for one will not be relinquishing my mask, nor will I be ditching my hand sanitiser any time soon. And no, I’m not paranoid, nor am I overreacting, and yes I’m fully vaccinated. However, as none of the vaccines provide one hundred per cent protection, anyone anywhere can not only carry coronavirus, they can also transmit it; therefore, I believe it’s not just my right to mask up, it’s also my responsibility, especially towards those who’re immuno-compromised and vulnerable.

  Don’t’ get me wrong, I know I’ll be in the minority, but to give up now, to ditch my mask and let my guard down would be just plain stupidity! I fully respect the rights of those who choose to ditch the wearing of a highly uncomfortable and visibly unappealing face covering. However, as I believe prevention is better than cure – specially when dealing with so many Covid variants which seem to randomly and spontaneously mutate at will, and, with the related risks being shared by one and all, instead of ‘lightening-up,’ (as I’ve been told), I’ll continue to do my share.

  With that in mind, as mask-wearing has been one of the most fraught and divisive debates of this pandemic – the other being to be, or not to be, vaccinated – in the spirit of moving forward, I’m asking all Rossies to please be kind to each other. That means no pointing, no sneering, no snide remarks and no accusations of irrationality towards mask wearers or selfishness towards anti-mask wearers.

  Remember folks, we’re all in this together, therefore, the solidarity we showed each other and which, (we can all agree), was vital for everyone’s wellbeing at the height of this pandemic, should, despite the restrictions being lifted, continue to be extended. Cheers!

Pancake Tuesday? Just ditch the rules!

Pancake Tuesday (apart from Christmas Day) is the one day where we can all ditch the rules and go mad eating chocolate spread, lemon juice, melted butter, brown sugar and every other ‘forbidden’ high-calorie food item lurking at the bottom of the fridge.

  When I say all…I mean most of us. Personally, as a vegan I don’t eat traditional pancakes, sticking instead to the non-egg, non-milky, non-buttery, and, if I’m honest, non-tasty ones – well, the plant-based batch I made last year wasn’t so much fluffy and delicious, but more flat, bland and chewy!

   However, if you’re planning to go on ‘the batter’ with the intent to over-indulge, remember, if anyone tries to make you feel guilty about reaching for that tenth pancake, just tell them you’re keeping in line with the tradition to ‘fatten’ yourself up before observing the 40 days of Lent! Enjoy!