It is understood that the Barstool Boyos are to take a break during August. The veracity of reports of increased tensions between the Boyos and the Editor could not be confirmed as we went to press.
Rumours that the Boyos had joined a cult (or the Roscommon Herald) have been dismissed as “social media mischief” by a spokesperson who described himself as “a friend of the Pub Bore”.
The anticipated absence of the Boyos’ column for most of August is not thought to be related to Mayo’s All-Ireland win, or to rumours of a new series of The 2 Johnnies Late Night Lock In being commissioned.
It is understood that far from being miffed at the growing world dominance of the ‘green and red’ the Boyos are genuinely pleased for our neighbours and that they actually joined the celebrations in Ballaghaderreen last Thursday night.
While there will be inevitable speculation that the Boyos may have sold their souls and accepted the US dollar by signing a lucrative contract with their PNYA – Prospective New York Agent – this seems unlikely. Not because the Boyos are weighed down with ethics and a sense of loyalty, more so because the
Prospective New York Agent has not been responding to their calls or emails.
Pithy statement
In a short, pithy statement hastily scribbled on a beer mat (Guinness) and marked ‘Short, pithy statement’, the Boyos simply said they are taking a break for August and hope to return with a pep in their step and a new expenses contract in their back pockets.
Asked to comment, the Editor said (through a third party) that he had already been to two parties and his social life was such that he could not focus on “the erratic behaviour of the unpredictable denizens of Page 2.” This comment may have been tongue in cheek. Or not.
A spokesperson for the Boyos said there is no need to panic. “The Boyos are fine. There has been no discernible change in their behaviour, although they did buy out of turn in the local the other night. Of course this could be explained by the ongoing emotional impact of the Mayo win. They are obviously a bit disorientated by that.
“I am confident that this is a straightforward holiday and that they will be back in a few weeks with some of their old classics, including complaining about lids being attached to milk cartons, the Editor’s ongoing
reluctance to give them a new contract, and Marty Morrissey’s media omnipresence.”
Hiatus
A spokesperson for the Editor denied that he is not giving the Boyos’ mooted hiatus the solemn attention it merits, adding that he is currently busy “concentrating on the Leeds United fixture list and watching classic comedies on Gold.”
Reports that the Boyos may be taking a break in order to set up a new political party have been described as “an unnecessary distraction” by sources close to friends of insiders who allegedly held secret discussions with a delegation representing interested parties at an undisclosed venue in Frenchpark.
Just in from the Boyos: “See ye in a few weeks… any queries, requests or financial donations can be sent to the Pub Bore in our absence. Congratulations to the brilliant Roscommon ladies team on a magnificent All-Ireland success. Up the Rossies!”
