Barstool boyos – Endangered Species

Metabolic.

Wha?

Metabolic, that’s it…that’s the word I was trying to think of. Metabolic. I found it on my mobile. 

Mr. Google!

Mr. Google is right! So anyways, they must have done a ‘celebrity’ slot on Operation Transformation…and Leo was on it.

You don’t watch that rubbish, do you?

Ah sure you know yourself, sometimes these things are just ‘on’ and you get hooked…it’s all about losing weight.

Yeah, I find Operation Transformation mighty for losing weight…‘cos every time it comes on I’m out the door in a flash for a long walk!

Ha ha. Anyways, they had Leo on it…now I didn’t see the episode myself…but they did a test on him to find out what his metabolic age is. Like, compared to his actual age.

And…?

Now bear in mind that Leo is only 40…so anyways, they announce that his metabolic age is 53! You should have seen his face!

I thought you didn’t see it…

Ah sure I saw it afterwards. On the Internet. He got a right land…

But I thought Leo did a lot of jogging…

Well, I dunno, maybe he’s been sitting on the fence a bit too much!

I suppose he eats lots of fine dinners, what with all those meetings with EU leaders and so on…

True. Come to think of it, he should never have left that group he was in with Gerry Adams.

Leo was in the IRA?

No. Sure Gerry wasn’t even in the IRA! Well, that’s according to Gerry…

Okay, Sinn Fein then…Leo was in Sinn Fein with Gerry?

No! Pilates. Gerry and Leo were in the same Pilates group. Do you not remember that?

Oh yeah. Maybe he’ll go back to the Pilates.

Maybe! Anyways, Leo, being Leo, he only went and questioned the findings of the test. Said something about doubting the science behind it…

It’s a wonder he didn’t set up an inquiry or a tribunal!

Bit of a blow to the ego, but sure he’ll be grand. Like the rest of them, he’s well fed and well paid.

Yeah, we’re the ones under real pressure. Our metabolic age is probably 100!

It will be if we keep meeting up here.

Ah sure you have to have the odd pint and the bit of craic.

Exactly. We’ll have two more…now will you be watching Operation Transformation next week?

You must be joking. Load of metabolics…