‘The Rossies, Margo, Boris and…are we nearly there yet?’
We’re OUT! Gone for another year!
The Eurovision, is it the Eurovision?
Oh don’t be silly!
It’s all daft outfits now, and crazy choreography! That’s why we’re out…
I’m not talking about the Eurovision! That’s old news!
Same here, I REFUSE to talk about it! No comment!
I’m talking about the All-Ireland race! WE’RE OUT! Beaten by Galway!
Oh, that…
YES, THAT!
It was a grim day…
Yeah, it lashed…
Not the weather. Just a grim day for the Rossies.
Yeah, so disappointing…
We played too defensively…
Our shooting was wayward…
The rain plummeted down…
You wore blue…
What?
Nothing!
The skies in tears, for another season of broken dreams.
Oh well, it’s just like the Eurovision…
Huh?
WHAT’S ANOTHER YEAR!
(They pause to ponder on what might have been…if Roscommon had pipped Galway, defeated Mayo and progressed to the last four…if, if, if…)
I’ve been waiting such a long time…
I genuinely did my best to be here on time, but I got held up…
Looking out for you…
That’s kind of touching…
Huh?
You really care!
No, not you – as such – they’re the opening lyrics of What’s Another Year.
Oh, right…
It’s a long time ago…since Johnny Logan lifted a nation.
1980…such great memories.
Yeah…
How did that year go for the Rossies?
DON’T ASK!
(They pause to discuss their joint man crush on Johnny Logan)
Are we nearly there yet?
Ah yeah, I remember it well!
Huh?
Small kids, back seat of the car, sun threatening to smash the glass…
What ARE you talking about?
Bag of crisps and a Fanta if our parents popped into a bar…let’s admit it, it went on in those days!
EH?
I remember it well! Margo on the radio…
MARGO?
She was great!
I suppose…
Great days!
What are you on about?
When we used to say ‘Are we nearly there yet?’ Those childhood trips in the back of the car…ah…
NO! I mean are we nearly at the end of the pandemic?
Oh far from it!
Oh dear! But what about Boris? His optimism…you know he’s taking a gamble?
Ending lockdown?
Yep!
I guess if I lived in England and cases were rising and Boris appeared at a press conference and suddenly announced that pretty much all restrictions are being lifted, I’d feel reassured…
(Awkward silence)
(Noting the time, they pause to record Love Island in their respective houses)
I’m like Boris…I’m feeling spontaneous! Let’s head out for an outdoor pint!
Great!
We can watch the Euro 2020 highlights when we get home!
Yeah, but Roscommon are still out of the championship…
We’ll be back, we’re the Rossies!
We’ll never win again…never taste ultimate success…
Don’t be silly! We’ll win Connacht, we’ll win an All-Ireland in the future!
No, I mean the Eurovision…we’ll never win IT again…
We might, if we invoke the spirit of 1980…
What? Sign up to the new Eurovision approach with a late 1970s/1980 theme? Young starlets dressed as a can of Fanta, singing from the back of a car like in the movie Grease?
NO! Give the gig to Margo!
Oh I dunno! Need that pint…ARE WE NEARLY THERE YET?
