So…MUST we talk about this self-imposed booze ban?
FRIDAY
Are we REALLY doing this? It’s a huge call!
Yes! We can do it!
Run it by me again…
So, it’s simple! We give up drink for October! It’s a thing now!
Huh! Everything’s a thing now!
It will be our ‘SO’! As in S.O. that is. Sober October!
You’re all ‘SO’ these days…
Huh?
I’ve noticed you’ve adopted that annoying new trend…of starting sentences with the word ‘so’…
So, I didn’t realise that…
Anyways, are you serious about this sober October idea?
Yep!
But we only meet up once or twice a week…and we’re usually still sober after we’ve been out…
Not entirely true…
IS it really a thing? I mean, I’ve heard of Dry November…
Yeah!
And Movember…
Huh?
Movember. Isn’t that where people grow a moustache for a good cause?
Oh yeah…
I suppose we could give up both drinking alcohol AND shaving…for November.
You’re conflating issues! Let’s stick with Sober October!
(They pause to raise a glass to the great Brian Mullins, who had many a tussle with Roscommon in the old days, and who has sadly passed away)
This is very short notice! Tomorrow is October 1st!
True (briefly panics, tries to catch barman’s eye…)
Have we other options?
Well, we have to have a few beers in December…I suppose we could go with a Dry January…
We could call it ‘Keep the head down January’…
Not very catchy…
We could have a ‘Fit February’…
A mild March?
Abstemious April…
That’s some mouthful!
Point is, it wouldn’t be! And a Mineral May…or a Moderate May!
Juice June…as in juices only…
Judge July…as in sober as a judge…
Order! (Orders two more pints)
(They pause to savour their pints, both boyos wondering if they’ve wandered into ‘hostage to fortune’ territory…)
MONDAY
Eh…quiet weekend?
Yeah, just went to a couple of club games…
Great…
SO, I suppose we have to talk about it…
There you go again…
Huh?
Starting a sentence with ‘so’…
Oh, sorry! So…this self-inflicted booze ban for October…(takes deep breath)…I presume you’re on for it?
Er…no problem. Are YOU still on board?
Eh…of course…
(They pause awkwardly, even longer than a typical Liz Truss pause)
Only thing is…
Yeah?
We have those two family celebrations in October…
…and my in-laws are coming over in a week…
We usually take a Halloween break…
You and I have tickets for that GAA function…
Yeah…
SO, are you suggesting we leave it for now?
SO…are you?
Are YOU wilting?
NO! Are YOU?
No, but we do have those social events coming up…I mean, if it suited you better to defer…
Well, it might work for you too…
Both: You SO AND SO!
