Barstool Boyos – 6th of August

Pulling like a dog, and making a dog’s dinner of UN appointment!

Did ye hear what yer man said? “Oh, sure that’s just what we do all the time!”

Who? Leo? Was it Leo?

Casual as anything he was…real cool…shrugging shoulders stuff…“sure that’s just what we do all the time!”

So IT WAS LEO!

NO!

Was it Simon? Simon Coveney? He’s a cool customer. Very unflappable. He can’t be flapped! Bet he was talking about the Katherine Zappone appointment…justifying it…“sure that’s just what we do all the time”…the cheek!

“We’re in the one boat, and it’s a bit of craic…” he said that too…

How many times do we have to tell our politicians we’re NOT all in the one boat!

His whole attitude was ‘I’ve been doing this since I was a kid, pull and strokes, getting in front, staying ahead’…

Such arrogance! I can’t believe he admitted to strokes…and the role of ‘pull’ in Irish politics! Is he admitting that ‘pull’ is how Ms. Zappone became the Special Envoy for whatever…?

WHO?

WHAT?

Who are YOU talking about?

Aren’t you talking about Simon Coveney? “Oh, sure that’s just what we do all the time”…

NO! I’m taking about Paul O’Donovan. That’s what he said when himself and Fintan McCarthy won Olympic gold in the rowing!

Oh…I get it…in the same boat…pulling, strokes…sorry!

 

(They pause to record the synchronised swimming)

 

Freedom of expression…

Yes, I’m all for it…I agree with the principle…

No, I mean that’s what Katherine Zappone was appointed to…UN SPECIAL ENVOY FOR FREEDOM OF EXPRESSION.

Is that the precise wording that appeared in the job advertisement? What a mouthful!

No, that’s the thing, or one of the things, Katherine’s new job WASN’T advertised…

Oops…

Yeah, oops…

 

(They pause to check the spelling of oops, just in case the Editor asks)

 

No advertising of the role, no interview process!

So what happened?

Well, Katherine, a former minister, moved to New York…

Nice…

And Leo said she contacted Simon and offered her services as a Special Envoy…

So THAT’S what happened…

Well, not necessarily, ‘cos Simon told Bryan Dobson that HE approached Katherine, not the other way ‘round…

OH!

So, Simon tried to clear it up…just a series of unfortunate events…or words to that effect…

And what was the Taoiseach’s opinion?

Oh sure they told Micheál nothing!

 

(They pause out of respect for Micheál’s embarrassment)

 

Well, hopefully Katherine will be a success!

I expect she’ll pull like a dog!

Eh?

You know, the O’Donovans…and their quirky turn of phrase!

Oh yeah…

OH NO!

What’s wrong?

OH NO!

Envious of the rowers? Unimpressed with Katherine? Annoyed with Leo or Simon?

No, IT’S MUCH WORSE!

WHAT?

The synchronised swimming didn’t record!