Barstool Boyos – 5th of August

Why is that the toast lands on the floor…butter side down?

But seriously, why is it th…

Are you going to keep this up for much longer? Can’t we have a quiet Bank Holiday pint or two…

But we’ve only been in the pub for 15 minutes!

Yeah, and you’re doing my head in with your ‘Why is its’!

It fascinates me! I mean, seriously, why is it that every time I drop a slice of toast, it lands on the floor…butter side down?

It makes no difference! You wouldn’t still eat the toast anyway, would you?

Mmnn…and why is it that I can’t stop looking at the very last line when I’m just starting into a new book?

You have a point there. Also, why is it that every time I record a football match, someone will inevitably spoil it and tell me the result?

Now YOU’RE playing my ‘Why is it?’ game!


And why is it when I want to put exactly 20 euro worth of fuel into the car, it runs to 20 euro and six or seven cent? Because my nerves get to me, I suppose…

You’re STILL only putting 20 euro into the car?

Yeah, I did wonder why I’m there three times a week!

Why is it that politicians say ‘With respect’ when they actually mean ‘With no respect’?

And why is that people say ‘No I’m grand, stay on your own’ when I offer to buy them a drink, when they’d really like one…and they accept in the end?

I don’t believe it!

They do!

No, I don’t believe that you regularly offer to buy drinks!

Huh! By the way…it’s your round!


(They pause to have a quick, sympathetic word with a local character who is drenched wet on the 1st of August after having a quick cigarette outside)


I see football finally came home!

The Meath ladies?

Well, the Meath ladies had a great win, yes, no question about that…but I meant the Lionesses!

Is that a reality show?

No, the England ladies! They won Euro 2022 last night! Beat Germany 2-1! They’re the Lionesses! They’ve brought football home!

Fair play! And I see life begins at 64 if you’re Colm O’Rourke!

Yeah, I was surprised to see him take the Meath hot-seat…

Fair play to him too!

I wonder will he put Spillane and Brolly in as selectors! They could go as the Three Lions! Or the three wise men!

I think Colm is wiser than that!


(They pause to imagine a GAA touchline being patrolled by O’Rourke, Brolly and Spillane…and find themselves flinching)


Anyways, it’s still your round!

Okay, I’ll get this, and we’ll have one more after that!

YEAH! WHY IS IT that every time we have three pints I get caught for the odd round!!