Fancy taking a minibus to the Dáil on Budget Day!
What a week!
Yeah, exactly…what a week. Fancy launching your election campaign just like that…at such short notice!
Element of surprise, my friend!
Element of farce, more like it!
Huh! If you persist with such negativity, I may drop you from my team!
I may not want to be on your team!
On the contrary, you will be appalled if I don’t select you as my Director of Elections!
I don’t even know if you plan to run in the local elections or the general election, you haven’t told me!
Element of surprise, my friend!
Huh!
(They pause to see if it’s safe to turn on the radio without hearing some Budget analysis)
Point is…
Point is you drove me mad all week!
How so?
First we went to Castlerea…
Day and Night!
Night and Day! I keep telling you, it’s the Night and Day Festival!
Sorry!
You were embarrassing there…
How so?
Trying to be cool with the kids, to impress the young guns!
That was just Minister Simon Harris, I’ve met him before!
Don’t talk to me. Any time you saw a politician at the festival you dived in for a photo-op!
Yeah…proves I’m serious about this political run!
(They pause to select which photos they’ll send to the Editor in the vain hope he will publish)
So…
SO…after the festival in Castlerea, you carted me off to the Ballyforan Fair!
All’s fair in love and war! Politics is a competitive business! I had to press the flesh!
And then insisted I drive you to Ballinasloe on Sunday for the Horse & Agricultural Show…
A great success! Keep them guessing! They’re all wondering if my ambitions extend beyond the local elections – if I intend to run in Roscommon/Galway! They know I’m a dark horse!
More like a not very bright donkey!
Huh!
(They pause in stunned silence as Armenia score twice in two minutes against the Republic of Ireland)
You can’t say I’m not increasing my profile…
We haven’t even spoken yet about that dramatic excursion on Tuesday!
What??
My friend, you insisted on us travelling to Dublin on Tuesday for the Budget!
Oh, that!
SO embarrassing!
It was only a minibus…
Yeah, with a huge banner, and only a handful of passengers. Including the pub bore, of course! He’d do anything for a free pint…
What was wrong with the banner? BBBB is catchy! Boyo’s Big Budget Bus!
Fancy protesting outside the Dáil, that was a bit much…
Not at all!
Mind you, I will admit you got a prime spot outside the Dáil gates, where you made your speech. Danny Healy-Rae and Mattie McGrath weren’t a bit happy. How did you get them to move out of shot of the cameras?
EASY! I got the pub bore to distract them…they never recovered. ELEMENT OF SURPRISE!
