Barstool Boyos – 30th of June

All Shook up over Elvis (and Joe)…. 

Hey, this new movie that’s out…we HAVE to see it…


About one of the greatest entertainers ever, a music messiah…

Is it Daniel? It’s Daniel, isn’t it? What’s it called? The Big D? Daniel: The movie? Danny Boy? When Daniel met Majella?

No, it’s not Daniel! It’s about the ULTIMATE entertainer!


The Big E! Dodgy hair arguably, but he had that cheeky grin, that boy next door charm, that irresistible allure…

It’s not Enda Kenny, is it? Is it a biopic on Enda?

This guy was a SHOWMAN!

Yeah, ENDA!



Yeah…a new movie about Elvis, called ELVIS…it stars Tom Hanks…

Ah yes, I can see him as Elvis…

Actually, Hanks plays Colonel Tom Parker…

You know, he was a ruthless leader…

Yeah, nobody messed with the Colonel…

No, not him. I mean Enda Kenny. Absolutely ruthless behind that carefully crafted persona. I met Michael Ring once and he said…

Oh please…Don’t be Cruel!


(Editor: ‘A Little Less Conversation’ surely?)


So my friend…any news?

No, all quiet! Dare I ask, any news on those contract talks?


You’ve been speaking to the Editor about renewing our contract…for months now!

There IS news…he’s not taking my calls!

You’re joking!

I’m not!

But you were having dinner with him, playing golf together…talking about us doing restaurant reviews, being supplied with a driver…

I’m telling you, he’s gone to ground!

In fairness, he does that most summers. Maybe it’s the onset of the silly season!

True…he could be off researching stories on talking dogs/giant sods of turf/vegetables that resemble celebrities!

Sounds like classic silly season stuff in the media alright! Any more word on him sounding out Joe Brolly?

That’s what’s worrying me. My sources say they were both in Croke Park at the weekend. Now he won’t take my calls this week! Just when I thought we almost had a deal!

You’re not worried, are you?

Nah…this page wouldn’t be the same without us!


(Editor: You can say that again)


Anyways, are you lonesome tonight?


Getting back to Elvis…

Oh, very good.

Will we go for a pint, or ask our respective partners if they’d join us for a nice night at the cinema…and some Elvis nostalgia?
Let’s pencil Elvis in for the weekend…and have a pint tonight!

Great! And we’ll relax about the Editor and Joe Brolly, we’re probably being paranoid. It’s as if we have…

Both: Suspicious Minds!