Barstool Boyos – 3 July

Oh, such joyous scenes! The long wait is over! So emotional! Historic! Wonderful!

Yeah, but it wasn’t normal!


I mean, I saw some of the celebrations…I agree it’s historic, but with Covid restrictions and all that, it just wasn’t the same…

I know, I know. Still, it WAS HISTORIC! I mean, it’s been decades…who’d ever have thought we’d see this day?

Well, it was always likely to happen some time…

Oh, I dunno. I think the key to it was leadership…you can’t put a price on charismatic, single-minded leadership!

Micheál Martin charismatic? I dunno! Leo? Think you’re being generous there. More like resilience from Martin and pragmatism from Varadkar!

What are you on about?

Fianna Fáil and Fine Gael finally getting together. Like you say, joyous scenes. Long wait over. Historic. Waiting for decades…

NO! I wasn’t talking about THAT! I’m talking about Liverpool! The Reds! They’re back! Champions of England…after thirty long years!



(There’s a pause on the line)


Still, there’s none of our lads on the pitch…

Nah…not like the great days… Steve Heighway, Ronnie Whelan, Steve Staunton…

I’m not talking about Liverpool NOW! I’m talking about YOUR apparent highlight of the weekend! The coming together of Fianna Fáil and Fine Gael! There are none of our lads – or ladies – selected to play! No minister from the West of Ireland! It’s a disgrace!

I agree! Fair play to Michael Fitzmaurice, he held up a map of Ireland, to highlight this outrage…

I saw that! A chunk of the country in green…

Where all the ministers are…

Yeah…and the rest of the country in red!

Maybe he’s a Liverpool supporter?

No! The red was to show that part of Ireland which has been ignored – no minister from Donegal to Limerick!

Oh, so that’s why nearly half of Michael’s map was red!

I’m only surprised the other half was green!


The Greens! They’re in Government too! And Michael is spitting fire about that!


(There’s a pause on the line)


Still…good to have a new Government, good to see Liverpool back…good to see Ireland reopening further this week!


Suddenly, there’s hope! So many restrictions are being lifted!

It’s hard to keep up with all the news! Phases, stages, restrictions, guidelines, one metre, two metres…my head is all over the place!

Oh this week is a big breakthrough! More shops open, restaurants too! Even a chance of a haircut!

Brilliant! A weekend away?

Yes, a weekend away, a staycation, a weekend in an Irish hotel!

Where will we go?

Not you and me!

I was joking. Actually, I’m planning a weekend in Dublin, just my wife and myself…

Lovely! When?

Eh…December, weekend of the 18th.

Fantastic! Get there Friday evening…spend Saturday in the shops…Christmas in Grafton Street…

Yeah…ahem, have to wrap up now.

Your wife will love it! So thoughtful.

Yeah…talk soon…

Hold it! ‘Weekend of the 18th of December’. In Dublin. Isn’t the All-Ireland Football Final on that weekend? What are you up to?

Is it? In December? That’s strange! So hard to keep up with everything!