‘Don’t underestimate the Irish politician’s desire to be liked!’
They wouldn’t do it!
They would!
They wouldn’t!
They would!
They wouldn’t!
They w…
(They pause, to break the monotony)
I tell you, they wouldn’t do it!
They would!
Oh for God’s sake!
Look, no self-respecting Irish politician is going to go for it! It’s a crazy idea…
But they love publicity, you know…
I know, but that’s too much!
Don’t underestimate the Irish politician’s desire to be liked…
Mmnn…
To be seen to not take themselves too seriously…
Mmnn…
To be…down with the kids…
Mmnn…
I think it’s a runner…
IT’S NOT! No Irish politician is going to agree to a political version of Love Island!
(They pause to savour the beautiful sunshine)
You get six politicians…all single of course…and you put them on an island…
I can see support for THAT bit alright…isolating them on an island…
AND you film their every movement…you wait for the magic to happen!
It would be too cringeworthy…
It would be nice to see the person behind the politician, to see the mask slip…
They’d have to wear masks…
This conversation is going nowhere…
Neither is your silly idea!
Our politics is too dull!
You think?
Yeah, I mean look at politics across the border…
In Leitrim? Mayo?
No, up North! There was all that fun and games in the DUP…
Mmnn…
And in the UK, you have Matt Hancock resigning for…eh…breaching social distancing regulations…
Maybe HE should be on Love Island…
And Boris said he still has much to offer! It’s a real soap opera over there!
Our politicians aren’t THAT dull!
Yes they are! We have very little to be excited about…
Well, there’s Mattie McGrath, and the Healy-Raes, and hey, look, Stephen Donnelly’s about to make a speech on TV…
Love Myself Island for him!
Ouch…
(They pause to listen to Minister Donnelly gently lead the interviewer through the interview)
I can’t wait for the 4th of July!
I couldn’t wait for you to change the subject! (You’re not the only one – Ed)
The 4th of July! Can’t wait!
Yeah, me too! Will you have the flag out?
Of course!
There’s something special about Independence Day! Come on the United States!
Oh no, I meant Roscommon v Galway this Sunday, 4th of July…and I’ll have my ROSCOMMON flag out.
Oh yeah, that too!
(They pause to acknowledge Independence Day/The fourth of July in the USA…)
So we won’t pitch ‘Love Island: Irish Politicians’ Special’ to the independent TV producers?
Nope!
Damn…I just feel we need to liven up Irish politics…
Don’t worry, we have our share of controversies…
Yeah, but I want drama, intrigue, fun!
It’s not happening!
There must be some reality show ‘angle’ for our politicians…how about Living with Mary Lou? Or Living with Leo? Week one, Danny Healy-Rae moves in with Mary Lou, week two, Michael Healy-Rae moves in with Leo…
I need a…
Or just have Michael Healy-Rae move in with Danny…a real BIG BROTHER! Mattie McGrath could narrate…
I need a DRINK!
