Barstool Boyos – 29th of April

Knick-knacks and bits and pieces? It must be the car boot sale!

Brilliant!

Huh?

The CBS!

Did they win a big game? Rugby, was it? Gaelic football?

No, not the school…the other CBS!

Huh?

The Car Boot Sale! C.B.S.!

Oh I’ve heard of them, but never been to one!

Really?

Yes, really! I don’t even know what a car boot sale is…I mean, how many people have defective car boots that need replacing?

You don’t seriously…

Ah no, but I genuinely don’t know what goes on at one…I presume it’s a sale of…boots?

You don’t seriously…

Did you go? I heard there was one in town, I saw it in the People!

Yes, I went…last Saturday. Excellent!

And did you buy any boots?

Look, a car boot sale is not a sale of boots…

So WHAT is it?

It’s where people come to the one location, typically with the boot of their car full of stuff they want to sell! And other people come…to buy!

And what do they sell?

Usually…unwanted possessions.

But how can you sell possessions if they’re unwanted?

Well, someone might want them, that’s the point of the sale. You want to pass on something you no longer need…but which someone else might be attracted to!

Wow! Sounds…er…boring!

On the contrary, it’s a lovely morning, or afternoon!

What…poking around some stranger’s boot?

It’s not as dispassionate as that! It’s a social event too!

(They pause to check if it’s safe yet to go online or look at a newspaper without seeing an Ed Sheeran-related headline; it wasn’t)

So…

So where was it?

Huh?

The car boot sale?

Oh, at Casey’s…behind Casey’s…in Roscommon. A super morning!

What did you buy?

Oh, odds and ends…

Can you be more specific?

Bits and pieces…

You bought useless stuff, didn’t you?

A few knick-knacks…

Huh!

Bits and bobs…

SO…RUBBISH!

No, not so! I got a nice lamp, a book, an ornamental cigarette holder…

You don’t smoke!

IT’S AN ORNAMENT! Also, a painting of Pope…

Which Pope? The current one?

No, Brent Pope, the rugby pundit…

You got sucked in! You fell for it! You bought stuff you didn’t need!

Not so! I got a matching vase too! Plus, like I said, it’s a social event too!

Really?

Yes! I met some lovely people. One chap, he’s been going to car boot sales for 40 years!

Wow! What…he buys, and sells?

No, he just likes looking at cars.

Mmnn…whatever takes your fancy, I suppose. Now, enough of this! Are we going to Markievicz Park on Saturday?

Yes!

Let’s leave around 2 pm…

Eh…could we leave around 10.30?

10.30???!!! Rather early?

Well, there’s this car boot sale in Sligo, I’d like to fit it in if I can…I’m looking for a second vase to match that single ‘matching’ vase I bought!