What a great weekend! And now, a 5-point plan for the future!
What a weekend! What entertainment! What drama!
Yeah!
Great TV!
Yeah!
I watched both semi-finals and…
Me too!
I love the fact that crowds are back!
Same here!
I love the colour, the funny outfits…
Me too!
The sheer passion for what is essentially…escapism!
Eh…yeah…
The out of tune singing!
Now you’re talking!
The suspense of those semi-finals…
That’s the Football League Championship play-offs for you…drama, great TV, spectators back, some of them wearing funny outfits, passion, out of tune singing by the fans, the semi-finals first, then the big one…
The Championship semi-finals? I was talking about the Eurovision!
Oh!
(They pause to list their top ten non-Irish Eurovision hits of all time, and get stuck after Abba and Bucks Fizz…)
Any news, my friend?
Well…
Well?
I’m drawing up a 5-point Plan.
Tell me more…
Well, it seems to be all the rage! The people want roadmaps. Plans and roadmaps. That’s what people want!
So?
So, I’m developing my own 5-point Plan for…life after Covid.
What’s in it?
Well, point 1 is MAKE A PLAN.
And point 2?
I’m still working on point 1.
Oh dear. Not going great, is it?
Well, I’m getting advice! I’m taking a leaf from the politicians’ book…I’m gonna do what they do when they need a plan!
You’re going to channel your inner visionary?
No, I’m gonna organise a Focus Group!
(They pause to ponder on the differences between a plan and a roadmap)
So, did you watch the big TV event of the weekend?
The golf?
No! The Eurovision!
No! I can’t deal with those show-offs making such daft noises!
Be kind! They’re up and coming singers!
Not the contestants! I’m talking about Marty Whelan and Graham Norton, the commentators!
Oh they’re good fun!
They’re silly!
That’s what makes them great!
I think they should be replaced next year…we need more gravitas in the commentary box!
Anyone in mind? Is it Willie? There’s no guarantee Willie would be available! Not when the GAA’s fully back!
(They pause to imagine what it would be like if Willie Hegarty did Eurovision commentary)
Hey, what’s your take on Big Phil?
He’s magic! Neat golfer!
Yeah!
Coolest guy on the planet!
Exactly! I thought of him when you mentioned politicians…he was badly treated…
Huh?
Big Phil! It’s time to bring Phil Hogan back!
I thought you meant Phil Mickelson, the golfer! He made history at the weekend!
(They pause to imagine what it must be like to be Phil Mickelson)
So, Salthill…
Yeah, disappointing!
We’re struggling in the league…zero from two games.
Yeah, we’re just like the UK at the moment…
Huh?
In the Eurovision…nul points!
Oh well…we’re still fully behind the Rossies…
Absolutely!
We’re backing Anthony and the boys all the way…roll on the championship!
Who have we next in the league?
Eh…Kerry, this Sunday in the Hyde! Hey, are you still there?
Gotta go!
Why?
I’m off to draw up another 5-point Plan, an emergency one!
What’s IT called?
HOW TO STOP DAVID CLIFFORD!
