Barstool Boyos – 26th of March

Be decisive like Harry Kane…to avoid petrol pump blues!


What happened?

I went to buy some petrol for the car.


Usually, not always! I pulled up at the pumps, took out the nozzle…

Then you made the BIG CALL?

Yes…and I decided on €20. Just made a decision, stuck with it!

Decisive! Love it! Like when Harry Kane is taking a penalty…decide which side to go for, and STICK WITH IT!


No last-minute indecision…you weren’t thinking ‘€15 for a quick getaway’ or ‘€30 to keep me going most of the week’?

Nope! Decision made – €20!


Well, suddenly a guy at the pump opposite is staring at me, like I should know him…

Did you?

It’s hard to know these days! I’m struggling to recognise people because of the masks…

Don’t tell me you ignored him?

Nah, I waved. But that distracted me, and I ran over…

You ran over to him?

NO! On the pump! I went into ‘Dreaded Dilemma’ territory!

What in the name of God is ‘Dreaded Dilemma’ territory at a fuel pump?

You must know! I had decided on €20…but because I was distracted, I ran over to €20 and six cent!



(They pause to nostalgically recall those glorious days when petrol pump attendants were employed)


So…this dreaded dilemma…


Do I breeze into the shop and offer a €20 note, or do I rustle up six cent in coins – that can be embarrassing for the customer and for the staff member…or do I hand in €50 and wonder if they’ll break it? Instead, I took the extreme step…

What’s the extreme step?

KEEP GOING! Head for the next milestone!

This is chaotic! It’s like Harry Kane changing his mind at the last moment!

I know! Anyways, I went for the next milestone…straight for €25!

That pump…it’s playing with your mind now?

Kind of!


I reckoned if I went for €25 it would be less stressful than the €20 and six cent situation I was in…


Problem is, now I’m trying to stop EXACTLY on €25…it actually adds to the pressure.

Especially after your earlier error…

Exactly! I usually slow up from around €24.40…take it nice and gently then…

Actually I usually challenge myself to try and hit €25 perfectly…on the spot! But I digress. What happened?

The second ‘Dreaded Dilemma’ happened! Because of the pressure, I released my grip on the nozzle a fraction too early! Ended up at €24.98…

Ah, I know the feeling! Now it’s too risky to press the nozzle again, or – before you know it – you could be heading for €30!



(They pause to fondly recall the days when you’d get two cent back if you handed in €25 after purchasing €24.98 of fuel)


So I went into the shop and got chatting to the man who was at the other pump. Sure I knew him well! But then I was hit by ‘Pump Mortification’!

Eh…what’s that?

I was chatting so long, I forgot I’d bought petrol…and left without paying! Ultimate Pump Mortification!


Oh I doubled back within minutes!

Wow! So what was it in the end? €25? €30? €24.98? Extra embarrassing this time, with the coins and the confusion…?

Oh no problem…I just paid by card!