Barstool Boyos – 25th of March

What a weekend…we beat SFA! But wait, let me explain!

SFA!

Huh?

SFA!

That’s not a very nice way to start our column…you know what SFA stands for!

Huh?

Sweet f…

NO!

Huh?
We beat…SFA!

Huh?

What a weekend of sport!

Yeah…but what’s it got to do with your acronym…SFA?

Like I said, we beat SFA!

Huh?

Editor: Get me Joe Brolly on the line NOW! I need to talk to him about rescuing this page! I can’t take all these huhs…

So…

But you can’t say we beat SFA…it’s swearing, plus it’s not true! We beat a decent Scotland team in the rugby!

Exactly! Finally, you’re cracking my code! We beat Scotland…that’s the ‘S’ in my SFA!

Yeah, fair play to the boys in green, we won the Triple Crown…pity the French spoilt our party…just a little!

Oh, c’est la vie…

Indeed! But what the F?

Now who’s swearing!

No, I meant what’s the ‘F’…in your acronym?

Well Roscommon won easily!

Yeah, against OFFALY…

Yeah, the Faithful county! F for Faithful!

Okay…AND A?

Well, we beat the English at Cheltenham yet again…thanks to Rachael, Willie Mullins, the Rossies and Galwegians with Flooring Porter, and a few others!

England begins with an ‘E’…you said SFA…

Yeah, the Auld Enemy! SFA! Scotland, Faithful county, Auld Enemy! ANOTHER triple crown!

Fair enough…but don’t forget, the Roscommon ladies beat Kildare…and our hurlers won against Monaghan!

Brilliant! A Grand Slam…after all!

(They pause to savour the beautiful weather during their Monday afternoon chat)

Any other news, my friend?

NOPE!

Avoiding Dancing with the Stars?

YEP!

Started mowing the lawn?

NOPE!

Still being grumpy?

YEP!

Have you resumed going out at night, or are you and I still just a mid-evening once-a-week drinking duo?

NOPE AND YEP, IF YOU FOLLOW!

(They pause, in order to phase out the ‘nope’ and ‘yep’ pattern)

Well, I HAVE news…

Is it about our contract talks? Is there a breakthrough? And about Joe Brolly being in The Hatch last week…

No comment! Those talks are at a sensitive stage! My news is…I’m thinking of buying a bike!

Really? As a hobby?

No, as a necessary measure. The price of fuel has gone through the roof, so I’m taking to cycling!

Excellent!

Will you go half and half with me?
What’s this? An episode of First Dates?

No, will you fork up half the price of the bike…

But…

…if I buy a tandem?

A TANDEM?

Yes, you know, a bicycle built for two!

SERIOUSLY?

It would be handy for us…from time to time!

I suppose you’d…

Yes, I’d be in front, you’d be behind!

Of course…hey, I thought you were looking for extravagant expenses from the Editor?

Well, I’m trying, I’m trying…

You’re not quite the negotiator you claimed to be, are you?

There’s an excellent second-hand tandem for sale online…

You’re trying to change the subject! Admit it, you’re getting nowhere on increased expenses! What did he offer us?

Eh…SFA!