Barstool Boyos – 1st of September

Roses, Rory, Robert… and the best days of our lives

Wow, what a week!


Well, the Big R…for starters! The Big R just dominated everything!

I know your game with these initials…you try to make me look silly! The Big R? It’s got to be…

I’ll give you a clue. He was ALL over the papers…amid speculation that he’d be leaving! And his numbers…they’re astonishing!

Knew it! Ronaldo! The Big R! Yeah, the numbers are something else. 37 years of age. Over 800 career goals. Paid over half a million euro a week, apparently…and in the news ‘cos he wants to leave Manchester United!

No, NOT RONALDO! The Big R is…

Oh I get it! Rory! Of course…RORY! He won the big golf event at the weekend…and yes, his numbers are astonishing! He won 18 million dollars…but as for leaving, you’re wrong, he won’t be joining the big golf breakaway…

NO! The guy I’m talking about is arguably  Westmeath’s third most famous person…

That’s a pretty precise claim to fame!

…after Joe Dolan and Niall Horan! I present…Robert Troy!

Oh please!

Well, he WAS the news story of the week…

Maybe, but he’s not a political heavyweight!

Fair enough….but he commanded a lot of airtime and column inches! And the numbers WERE remarkable! He owns 11 properties, has nine of them rented…and bought his first house at the age of 20!

I know, I know! He had to resign!

Fancy not declaring all his property interests properly…‘cos he “misinterpreted the rules”.

Basically he claims he couldn’t accurately follow or understand the regulations…


And he was Minister for…precisely what?

For all things to do with trade…including regulation!

Oh dear! Quite a guy for omissions!


(They pause to check who’s richest…Rory McIllroy or Niall Horan) 


You know, it’s an emotional time…

For Rory? Robert?

I was actually referring to kids starting out in school for the first time…and their parents!

Oh yeah! Best days of your life!

So they say! Do you remember it?

Yes, I remember it well…(Editor rolls eyes)

Me too! I remember crying when my mother explained that I’d have to go to school until I was 18…


I thought I wouldn’t see her again for 14 years!

Ha ha! What I remember is…being put at a desk with the pub bore!

That’s odd…


That a four-year-old would have a nickname like that…

Well, he wasn’t the pub bore then…obviously!

Was he friendly?

Ah he was grand…but he started speculating about what the desk might be made of.

That’s him alright!

By the way, like Robert Troy, you’re guilty of an omission yourself…


Famous Westmeath people? You left out another ‘R’…


The new Rose of Tralee…Rachel Duffy!