Barstool Boyos – 1st of April

He hesitated…seems he was stuck between a Rock and a hard place!

Wow! Did you see it?

Huh?

Much more than handbags, this one!

Huh?

Did you see the fight on the TV…on Sunday night?

Was Katie on again, did she win?

No! Just when the awards were being handed out, in front of a big audience, the physical stuff began…

Ah! The GAA league placings were being decided…and Donegal and Armagh let off some steam! Yes, saw it!

NOT Donegal and Armagh! This was different…this was…unusual!

Eh…huh?

Will Smith and Chris Rock!

Oh! The Hollywood stars? Tell me more…

During the Oscars ceremony…Rock made a joke about Will’s wife. Next thing, Will strode up on to the stage and hit Rock with his right hand!

Wow! He must have been very annoyed!

Yeah, he thought about it for a moment first…seems he was stuck between a Rock and a hard place!

It doesn’t seem that fair…

Why?
Well, didn’t Will Smith train as a boxer…when he played the role of Muhammad Ali in a movie?

Oh yeah!

Anyways, was it staged?

Don’t think so! Smith seemed genuinely upset over what Rock had said…but a lot of people feel he overreacted, that he should have taken the mic instead and made his feelings known verbally.

He should have articulated his position through words…instead of just slapping the other guy?

Yep!

Maybe that memo needs to go to one or two GAA teams!

Ouch!

Anyways, no doubt it was hyped on social media…despite all that’s going on in the world.

Eh…yeah…

(They pause to repeatedly watch the clip of When Will Slapped Chris)

So…moving on!

Indeed! So, apart from staying up all hours to watch the Oscars, how have you been since Sunday?

Great! The weather’s been…amazing!

Yep…and we’re still on Cloud Nine!

Since the Hyde?

Yes!

A fine performance…

Yeah, the lads were great!

Thrilling football, an unbeaten campaign, and a return to Division One!

Yeah…and what a crowd there was at the Hyde!

Yeah, and not a ladder in sight!

Maybe we need to explain the ladder reference?

Explain that it’s a reference to when desperate fans had to climb ladders so they could watch football during pandemic-inspired lockdowns?

Yes! We have to give historical context…for when historians are re-reading our columns in future centuries…

(Editor rolls eyes, reaches for phone…)

Will there be a price to pay, I wonder?

Huh?

For the fighting. A ban or two?

Ban Will from…Tinseltown?

NO! Not Will! I’m talking about the Donegal and Armagh players…that was quite a scrap at the end, you know!

Which ‘GAA-speak’ category did it fall into?

Huh?

‘Handbags.’ ‘A melee’. ‘Scuffles’. ‘Letting off steam’. ‘Getting to know one another’. Which one?

Love it! Actually, there were a few decent swipes…

Maybe, but a lot of posturing too, as usual! I mean, one or two guys went down very dramatically…they should have been…

BOTH: GIVEN AN OSCAR!