Barstool Boyos – 19th June

Why so upset?
WHY SO UPSET? I told you!

Eh…something about a Wish List…? 

SOMETHING about a Wish List! It’s so depressing!

Go on…tell me again. 

Remember last year when we said we’d try New Year’s resolutions – again? 


Well, I found a notepad at home, yesterday. I had it all written out. A ‘To do’ list for 2020…


No. 1: Run the Dublin City Marathon. 

IT WAS NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN! YOU…running a marathon!

I might have…but of course it got cancelled. 

You could have run a virtual one…

I virtually did. I thought about it…

What’s number 2 on the list? 

Travel…see the world!

Okay, I see where this is going…

Yeah, and I can see where I’m NOT going. 

Some other time, my friend! What’s next? 

Play more sport. But it’s almost late-June, and Covid has ruined all my plans!

You were NEVER going to make a soccer or GAA comeback! What else is on that list? 

Be nicer to people! Shake hands with the Man I Don’t Talk To, at the back of the Church. It’s all ruined!

There must be some stuff on that list that you were able to do…let me see it…ah look, No. 5: Get fit. You’ve been walking during the pandemic, haven’t you? 

Yeah, a certain amount…but when I get back, I walk straight to the fridge…and snack!

Still, looking at this list, there are positives…

Like what? 

You have lovely handwriting! 


(There’s a pause in the conversation) 


At least we’re going to have a new Government!

Eh yeah…exciting!

It’s a dream team, a triple crown, three for the price of one, a rainbow Coalition with lots of green in it…


Oh cheer up! It’s new politics. 


I mean NEW NEW POLITICS. It’s historic. Fianna Fáil and Fine Gael together. 

What would our ancestors say? 

Probably, to echo Ian Paisley…NEVER! NEVER! NEVER!

In fairness, he changed his tune…

Exactly! We should rejoice. This is historic! It’s so mature!

So mature? I think you mean so opportunistic!

Oh don’t be so cynical! And it IS historic. We have the greens in there too…

It’s madness! Leo lost the election, but he’ll be Taoiseach again. Micheál Martin lost the election, but he’ll be Taoiseach! Eamon Ryan was one of the big winners of the election…yet he’s for the high road!

You mean the greens will turf him out? 

Well, they might, there is a leadership challenge. 

I know, but that’s democracy. 

Democracy?! Don’t talk to me about democracy. It’s over four months’ since the election, and this new Government still isn’t OFFICIAL. It still has to be ratified by the grassroots!

Yes, like you said, exciting! Anyways, I think one thing we’ve learnt from Covid is that we should be nicer to people. So I say well done to Leo, Micheál, Eamon & Co. 

Be nicer to people? You’re going soft!

But people are sensitive, it’s human nature to like compliments…

Rubbish! By the way, is my handwriting really that nice?

Yes! And hey, look at No. 6 on your list, my friend, YOU HAVE ACHIEVED THAT!

Oh what is it?