‘It was riveting! Could these personalities overcome such difficult obstacles?’
Wow! Did you see that programme on TV with the well-known personalities going through…a form of hell!
I don’t like that word!
The word…personalities?
No, the word hell!
Yeah, I know, it’s trivialising to use it in the context of a TV programme, but so be it!
Mmnn…still don’t like ‘hell’…
Yeah, but that’s what it is! It was on the other night.
Right…
All these well-known people lined up together, taking on an almost impossible challenge…in front of the cameras…
Yeah…
Riveting viewing!
If you say so…
It’s ULTIMATE HELL!
Oh stop calling it that!
Anyways…
Yeah…
Did you see it?
Oh I did. Same old choreographed nonsense!
On the contrary, I found it engrossing!
Mmnn…
Fascinating to see how they would perform…
Yeah…
…could they overcome the obstacles, the challenges…
Yeah…
Put rivalries and jealousies aside…
As if!
All for the greater good…
Now you’re being silly.
Actually, they were all quite fit…
Now you’re being ludicrous!
Oh don’t be so grumpy! Ultimate Hell Week was awesome!
Ultimate Hell Week? I thought you were talking about the Fianna Fáil think-in in Cavan!
Huh?
Well you said well-known personalities were going through hell…I thought you meant FF backbenchers looking at opinion polls results.
Yeah…
And you said they were lined up together, taking on an impossible challenge, various obstacles…I thought you were referring to Micheál Martin’s press conferences, with the parliamentary party members lined up beside him.
But I said it was riveting!
Yeah, should have known you weren’t referring to the FF think-in!
You know it’s all about special forces, military training, army stuff?
Maybe that’s why they’re called the Soldiers of Destiny!
Not the Fianna Fáil think-in…Ultimate Hell Week – The Professionals!
(They pause in the hope that a more interesting topic of conversation will materialise)
You know…
Yeah?
I think it’s the shape I miss most…the sheer beauty of…
Wow! Hold on!
When I think of the pub, I think of the shape of the subject of my desire…
Please! Stop! You can’t…
That barstool, it meant the world to me…
Oh, the barstool, phew!
I know the pubs are back open, which is great, but our work is not yet complete. I crave the day when the barstool at the counter is an option again.
It will come!
It’s all very well sitting back at a table, or chatting outside, but for proper pub commentary…
…to resume our role as experts on everything?
Yes…
Both: We need the return of the barstool!
Yes, once it’s safe to do so…bum on barstool, elbow on counter, a pint settling in front of you, a friendly barperson, a few locals to chat to, a match on the telly…
FTB! FREE THE BARSTOOL!
