Barstool Boyos – 17th of June

Heartbreak for Rossies, glory for Rory!

What a week…

Huh?

…of sporting drama!

Yeah…and heartbreak!

I know, but the Rossies will bounce back! Such a pity you couldn’t make it to Croker…

Well, I had those chores to do…to be honest, I was waiting for the quarter-final!

Oh dear, don’t mention the quarter-final…

 

(They pause to listen to the draw for the quarter-finals on Morning Ireland, and it doesn’t improve their mood)

 

So…

I assume you had a good day? At least up to the last seven minutes of the game!

Sure!

Who did you go with?

Eh…the Editor.

THE EDITOR! Very cosy!

Ah, just the three of us…

THREE?

Yeah, well we met Joe, briefly…

JOE?

Yeah, Joe Brolly, I think the Editor wanted to have a private word with him…

Mmnn…so, the Rossies?

What can I say? Very slow to start, excellent in the second half, then…crash, bang, wallop!

So what’s he like…in person?

Ah he’s grand, sure…typical editor, full of mad ideas, unreasonable, demanding…

Not the Editor! What’s BROLLY really like?

Oh, HE’S sound…

Hold on a minute! What did the Editor want to speak to him about? Don’t tell me he’s lining up Brolly for this page? AM I SAFE?

I’m glad you asked me that…

Don’t go all political on me…

I mean, we very much value your contribution, but obviously we keep an open mind, and it’s important…

What’s this ‘WE’??? And PLEASE don’t start talking like a politician!

People have to take holidays, things turns up, life changes…

Is Joe Brolly being lined up to replace me? SAY IT OUT STRAIGHT!

My friend, this is no time for speculation…

AAGH!

 

(They pause to allow the slight tension to ease)

 

You know I’d never abandon you…trust me with these talks. I’m confident I’ll have a new contract for me – AND YOU – soon!

Good! It’s just I get nervous when I hear mention of Brolly…

So do Mayo supporters!

Hah!

I think the Editor might be trying to line Brolly up as a GUEST columnist…but you’ll always be er…a very valued member of the team.

Don’t start that again!

Anyways, a devastating day for the Rossies, but we’ll be back…next season!

Yes! And what about the golf? That breakaway LIV group has rocked the sport!

Yeah…greedy guys! It’s very controversial. That’s why I enjoyed Rory’s great win in Canada on Sunday night so much. Rory’s the KING!

Yeah…Long LIV Rory!