Could people inside get requests played and listen through an open window?
So, let’s try and get our heads around it…
YOUR head, you mean!
Need to get it right!
Yes, preferably before the year is out…
Okay…so, with regard to hospitality, it’s 200 people outside…
Yes…
All seated in groups of six…
NO!
Huh? I thought it’s confined to tables of six…
That’s a MAXIMUM of six at one table…there can be less people at a table either!
Okay, so NO MORE than six at a table?
Well, in certain circumstances, you can have 15…
If you’re a government minister?
No! If you have nine children…
But sure who has nine children? Not too many these days!
Not nine children of your own, well not necessarily…nine children in your party…
I didn’t think they were allowing parties…are parties back in?
No, not an actual party, although come to think of it, you can have an outdoor party now. I meant nine children in a given party…that constitutes grounds for 15 people at the one table!
Wouldn’t that be noisy?
Irrelevant!
(They pause to let the slight tension ease)
So you can have 200 people outdoors, at a restaurant, bar or hotel…as long as they’re seated at separate tables of no more than six persons…
Perfect!
That seems like a dramatic change!
Yeah, well Katherine Zappone is key to it all…
She has to be present?
NO! I mean the Katherine Zappone controversy has led to this…er…breakthrough.
She had a party in the Merrion Hotel, attended by 50 people, including Leo?
Yep!
Any children there?
I don’t know!
Is that the party Eamon Ryan, the Green Party leader, went to?
NO!
Where did he go?
Merrion Cricket Club!
Did he cycle there?
Probably!
That small outfit, how are they doing? Are they still relevant?
The Greens?
No, Merrion Cricket Club!
(They pause to briefly recall favourite cricket-related moments)
And now music’s allowed outside too…
Yes (wearily)…
But not inside…
Correct.
So you could have 200 customers outside a bar, with music, and another 100 or 200 inside, with no music…
Yes.
Could the people inside get requests played and listen through an open window?
Probably…
What would happen if a couple had 14 children and wanted to sit together?
TWO TABLES!
A table for 15, and a table for one? Hardly fair?
Maybe they’d have the cop on to ask for two tables of eight!
But you need nine children to justify having more than six people at one table…
Okay! Maybe three tables of six then!
Then they’d have two spare seats…
Yeah, we could join them!
Actually, a couple with 14 children might want to go out on their own…
Oh dear!
(They pause to simply take breath)
I’m confused…
I’d never have guessed!
It just doesn’t make any sense…
Is it all the ‘table talk’…or the number of children, or the music conditions?
No…
All the confusion last week?
No…
WHAT?
I can’t understand what the Green Party were celebrating!
