Well readers, it’s time to break out the Adele albums, get the family-sized bar of Galaxy and the bottle of emergency vino from the vegetable drawer at the back of the fridge and settle in for a good aul session – because we’ve been dumped!
Yep, it’s a case of Vini, Vidi Vamoose…they came, they saw, they fecked off…the Brits that is. The people, who have possibly voted more with their hearts than their heads, bless them, have said so long, farewell, auf wiedersehen, goodbye and sling yer hook; our relationship has passed its expiration date and, unlike the Hotel California, we’re not all just prisoners here of our own device. So, here’s your P45 Europe, we’ve invoked Article 50, and we’re off! Now to say that I’m personally shocked is an understatement.
You see, like everyone else, despite the fact there was always the slim chance it may happen, I didn’t think they’d go through with it and now that they have, while I don’t wish to be an alarmist, I’m worried for this fragile, barely into recovery, little country of ours.
You see, because the Brits are our neighbours, we want to remain on good terms with them, we like them, they’re our friends; and besides, we have a bi-lateral agreement with them that says we will always do trade. We’ll still want to sell them the €1.1 billion worth of our best Irish beef, the €1 billion worth of fresh dairy produce and the pig meat that’s worth €3.3 million a year to us, won’t we? Of course we will. And besides, the Brits paid over €8 billion into the EU towards funding the Common Agricultural Policy (CAP) which accounts for 37 per cent of the EU budget and we don’t want to lose any of that now do we? But here’s the pickle folks, Frau Merkel and her gang will want a piece of the action, and, like the sharks that they are, they’ll step in, negotiate and handle all future deals on our behalf.
And what about the North…how will they fare in all of this? Ever since the Good Friday Agreement twenty years ago, Northern Ireland has enjoyed peace and prosperity; but what happens if, all of a sudden, the result of the Brexit means a return to barricades, borders and armed checkpoints…can you imagine the psychological impact that would have for everyone living on this island? I mean, even the thought of it happening frightens the bejaysus out of me because it would be a disaster for all four provinces, and more so for those living on border towns.
But, ya see, here’s the thing folks…that’s worst case scenario and I’d just like to say, beware of the aul domino effect Ma Merkel, because, all eyes are now on Britain, and if, as the world’s fifth largest economy, she manages to get along fine without you and the rest of us, if we see the old enemy (now our friend), playing pick ‘n’ mix with who, what and where they can do business, then what’ll you do if the rest of us sheeple (people who’ve followed you like sheep but sure if I have to explain…) decide to jump on the bandwagon?
I’m not saying we will, but, following last Thursday’s shock, nothing is that far-fetched anymore, and, if the EU continues to play hardball and keeps failing to address serious issues like, oh say, the migrant crises, (are we now the entry point for the EU???), then you can forget about your, you-can-check-out-any-time-you-like-but-you can-never-leave bullsxxt Angie baby, ‘cos if the Brits don’t sink, then perhaps it’s time for you and the rest of the leaders to strengthen cohesion among member states (like Ireland), or loosen your choke hold on us and let us to have a bigger and better say in our own destiny. In short, time to pee or get off the pot madam.
Kezza should lead by example
Kerry Katona and ex-husband Brian McFadden’s eldest daughter Molly is a curvy girl; and so what? She’s also very pretty, she’s got fabulous hair, she’s tall, and, most of all, at only 14-years-old, this very cute, and I’m sure delightful young lady, is at an impressionable age meaning it’s totally normal for her to experience the rollercoaster of emotions that go hand in hand with being a teenager, especially one who lives in the spotlight of her high profile mother and father; something that can add greatly to her emotions.
And so, last week when Molly was attacked by vicious online trolls who unfairly criticised her weight, my heart went out to her. And, fair dues to Kerry for publicly defending her child on ITV’s Loose Women and hitting back at the vile pieces of pond scum who targeted her.
However, it was a case of people living in glass houses can’t afford to throw stones when Kezza described her daughter’s abusers as ‘pathetic and childish.’ They’re not love, they’re vile creeps; however, what is ‘pathetic and childish’ and a poor role model, is a mother who gets hammered, falls down drunk and lays, semi-naked, writhing on the ground of a filthy car park, trousers dangling at her ankles, oblivious to the embarrassment she’s causing her family. Sound familiar, pet?
Now while I know we’re all entitled to ‘let our hair down’ once in a while, which is how this debacle was explained, letting our clothing down is another thing entirely. Loose Woman…er, Gross Woman more like.
You’ll never beat the Irish!
Some people are destined to make an impact on people’s lives; to do great things. Robbie Brady is one of those people; whom, along with the rest of the Ireland team and our amazing supporters have done more to raise the positive profile of this country on the international stage than any group of greedy public representatives heading overseas on a promotional beano.
Now, following his two amazing goals, a young lad – from my neck of the woods, north Dublin – g’wan ya beaut ya – is one of the most famous sports people in the world. You know you’re part of one of the greatest nations across the globe when, even as we’re knocked out of the Euros, we know, we’re still winners. I don’t know about you folks, but I for one am bursting with Irish pride this week and hoarse from singing The Fields of Athenry!