Barstool Boyos – 3rd of June

All the fun of Connacht final day…

SUNDAY MORNING

The traffic’s not that bad…

Yes, ‘cos I suggested we head off early!

Anyways, you were kind of embarrassing back there at the Service Station…for starters, it took you ages to get our refreshments…

It’s a high pressure environment!

HIGH PRESSURE?!

Well…the coffee/tea self-service can be stressful! It was just now…where’s the cup, where’s the tea…what type of tea is that…which button for coffee…will it stop pouring in time, oh, is that the hot water…where’s the little stick for stirring it…meanwhile, there was a giant trucker behind me and I thought he might pick me up with one hand any minute…

When we got talking to that nice couple from Strokestown, you were REALLY embarrassing…

WHAT?

The man said ‘Who do you think will win? Who’s getting your verdict?’

Yeah?

And you said ‘Johnny Depp’! SO embarrassing!

It was a joke!

Then, when I went to buy a paper, and I looked back momentarily, you had fallen off your seat in the deli!

Yeah well that’s ‘cos the giant trucker sat down beside me!

So you just shrunk into the ground like a cartoon character?

Well no, he kind of unbalanced the seat…and I toppled over.

Did you tell him to be more careful? 

Eh…I thanked him, said I needed to be more alert.

Oh dear!

Actually, he was a lovely man. I had a chat with him too…

Galway or Roscommon?

Huh?

Who is he supporting?  

Oh he has no interest in Connacht football…we talked about Amber Heard and Johnny Depp.

Oh dear…

(At this point they paused to check, for the ninth time, that the QR Code for their tickets was still easily accessible on their respective mobile phones)

SUNDAY AFTERNOON

It’s left up here…

Eh…I think it’s right…

It’s behind those houses…I think…

No, it’s right up there, then left…

That’s the thing about the pitch in Salthill…it’s so easy to find!

Let’s just follow those supporters there…in the  Roscommon jerseys…

What if they’re going to the beach, not the game?

Don’t be silly! Quick, follow them! Yes, there’s the stadium!

 

20 MINUTES IN… 

We’re starting to struggle…

I know!

A few bad wides…

Yeah…Galway are more direct.

We’re like those queues at Dublin Airport…too slow!

Yeah, like a lot of people at the airport, I’ve a feeling we might not reach the heights today!

 

AT FULL-TIME…

Ah well, at least we finished strongly.

Yeah, if we play a bit more direct, there’s lots of goals in this team!

Fair play to Galway!

Worthy champions…but we’re still in it. Our lads gave it everything. Here’s to the next day!

Now let’s go and have a pint back in Roscommon – and we can all agree that we are barstool experts!

As ever!

I mean, on a day like today, there are so many questions…

Agreed! Substitutions, tactics…

NO! For starters…why did you get me herbal tea when I asked for an Americano?

Oh sorry…that trucker…he was closing in, I must have panicked!