Barstool Boyos – 13th of May

Good news in the north, all the same…

Huh? Have Boyle unearthed MORE quality forwards?

Not the north of the county! NORTHERN IRELAND! The elections…you must have noticed!

Oh I switched off on ‘The North’ a long time ago!

Huh, and you fancy yourself as a prospective future politician!

Only joking, I am actually up to speed with the elections in Northern Ireland…but I’m not sure there’s much good news!

(They pause to check in on the Rebekah Vardy-Coleen Rooney High Court case)

So…why aren’t the elections in Northern Ireland good news?

Well, they ought to be…

Yeah, ‘cos surely it means the Stormont Executive will sit again?

That ought to happen, but…

There’s a but?

Yeah! There’s ALWAYS a but with those reluctant bedfellows!

Look, I know the executive collapsed a while back, but surely the election is just what was needed? I thought everyone wanted elections in order to bring clarity, for the people to have their say, for democracy to prevail! For the impasse to…pass!

Yeah, but now that the people have had their say, there’s yet another stand-off!

So, Sinn Féin had a good election…

Yep…they’re now the largest party in the Assembly.

Wow!

And the Alliance had a great election…but it wasn’t quite so good for the Unionist parties, or for the SDLP.

So the upshot is that Sinn Féin’s Michelle O’Neill will actually be First Minister?

Well, she’ll certainly be put forward…but the DUP – now merely the second biggest party – say they won’t play ball unless the Northern Ireland protocol is scrapped. It’s a big issue ‘cos of the B…

PLEASE DON’T MENTION THE B WORD!

…Brexit vote!

So will Michelle be First Minister or not? Surely they’ll form a power-sharing administration?

Well, they don’t do things in a hurry up north!

Anyways, a great win for Galway!

Eh…yeah…

A tough one for Leitrim…

Yeah, but their minors were on fire against the Rossies…

Now we have a Connacht Senior Football Final to look forward to…Roscommon v Galway!

Is it in the Hyde?

Nope, it’s in Salthill…but it’s okay, there’s great weather on the way!

I’m not falling for that…Pearse Stadium is Pearse Stadium…I’m reaching for my windcheater now!

(They pause to check if there are any new utterances from Padraic Joyce praising Roscommon or Anthony Cunningham talking up Galway)

Getting back to what we were talking about…it’s been very bitter between those protagonists for years…they never agree!

Yeah, to put it mildly…

It’s hard to see them ever getting on, pulling together…

Ah there’s always hope…

A lot of unkind stuff has been said over the years, and there will always be some level of suspicion…

I still think if Michelle O’Neill and Jeffrey Donaldson sit down together and talk things through, the executive can be reformed…

Michelle and Jeffrey? Oh no, I was on about Rebekah and Coleen…

Oh there’s NO hope of reconciliation there!