SATURDAY
The boyos arrived in Killarney, the Pub Bore driving. They were grateful for his generosity, if not for his non-stop and excessively self-confident assessment of the state of the world.
An hour into the journey, the Pub Bore had already outlined how he thinks every division in the Allianz Football League will play out; by halfway to Killarney he had dissected the Mercosur Deal… when he got on to the history of Greenland, the boyos wondered if they should have made alternative travelling arrangements.
“You know the Vikings discovered Greenland?” the Pub Bore began, but by then the boyos could see the signs for Killarney and were therefore in good spirits.
Boyo 1 switched the subject to Mark Dowd’s team selection. Before they knew it, the Pub Bore was reversing into a space in the hotel carpark with a level of precision reminiscent of a good driver who is adept at parking in tight spots.
“Mighty stuff, thanks a million” the boyos chorused.
The Pub Bore smiled as he zapped the car. “Erik the Red was the first Viking in Greenland, but not the first bully to take a fancy to the place!”
SATURDAY NIGHT
The trio had a great night. After Dinner they visited a few pubs, meeting fellow Rossies and also mingling with locals.
In one small bar in particular, the craic was mighty. The boyos had to squeeze past four guitars, three banjos, two fiddles and one nosy farmer before securing stools.
Spotting some American tourists, the Pub Bore – a master of timing – dived in amongst the yanks. “So, with regard to Trump and Greenland…”
A touch dismayed, the boyos turned to the nosy farmer… in the hope of some lighter conversation.
But as they approached, he looked up and muttered: “Mercosur me a*se!”
SUNDAY
The boyos loved every second of the Kerry-Roscommon game, well except for those final seconds when the hosts nicked a thriller in ‘HooterGate’. Still, a superb Roscommon display!
After cheering the team on, the lads found a cosy bar where they could watch Arsenal v Manchester United before the journey home. At the counter, they got chatting to a few United fans from The Kingdom. While thrilled with the win over Arsenal, the locals gave the boyos their view on United’s slow return to the glory days of the past.
“Yerra, it’s not the same since the Fergie days!”
“What we need is someone like Keano!”
Out of the blue, the Pub Bore brought up Greenland. The boyos tried to dissuade him, but he winked.
The locals looked confused. Then the Pub Bore showed off his Cantona tattoo.
“United are like Greenland back in the day. Ye need a stranger to arrive and sort ye out… another Erik the Red!”
